Taylor
Thankful
- Dec 23, 2018
- 476
Today was my second day on this new delivery driving job I told you guys about before. I'm literally astonished at how well this company pays, to just deliver food from restaurants via iPhone app. It says I made $115 after only working 7 hours. At that rate, working 35 hrs a week, I'd be making $2,300 a month.
It's insane how hard the reality of life hits you, when you're staring death in the face. I can't tell you how many emotions and thoughts I process throughout the day thinking about this, knowing how close it is, and if I really want it. It's like my heart wants to stay and keep fighting, but then my mind logically reassures me of how trapped I am from every angle, and how much physical pain I'm in, and that continuing any longer in this condition is practically a disservice to me at this point. Also, I'm extremely brave, so I don't doubt my ability to overcome my SI or anything. It's just a matter of determining whether I truly want this or not, and I keep coming to the same conclusion I mentioned above.
It's insane how hard the reality of life hits you, when you're staring death in the face. I can't tell you how many emotions and thoughts I process throughout the day thinking about this, knowing how close it is, and if I really want it. It's like my heart wants to stay and keep fighting, but then my mind logically reassures me of how trapped I am from every angle, and how much physical pain I'm in, and that continuing any longer in this condition is practically a disservice to me at this point. Also, I'm extremely brave, so I don't doubt my ability to overcome my SI or anything. It's just a matter of determining whether I truly want this or not, and I keep coming to the same conclusion I mentioned above.
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