Story Looking for NEETS or pseudo NEETS without hobbies, interests or past experiences.

[eryu]

I've been fucked up and unable to focus on things since beginning of adolescence

Even just watching YouTube videos or reading Wikipedia articles was prohibitively difficult when I was younger and I'm currently stuck in a state where the ability to consume any regular entertainment that might distract me from my horrible life is nigh impossible.
No developed music taste which is a huge source of embarrassment and pain because I think that would have helped me get through a lot of my life cushioning a lot of the blows.
Almost everyone very apparently had more going for them in terms of things to talk about. Memories of interests and small enjoyable things that they can talk about without each one being hideously painful. I do talk about a smattering of things but it is shallow, not much knowledge about anything.. Incapable of acquiring much more at any reasonable rate and whenever I'm talking about thing with fondness it is in a state where I'm managing to suspend the grief of each memory being a reminder of an unbearably shallow wasted life.

I'm looking for people with similar experience to talk to.
I'm looking for people who find it hard to talk to others because of lack of interest, experiences, etc.

There will be different degrees of course but might as well see if anyone comes.

Earlier on in life I was extremely confused and never felt settled or able to take things in. Plus vicious intense social anxiety which fucked everything even more.. Now it is sort of the same but with neurological damage (acquired just as I thought thing may turn around finally). But minus the (worst of the) social anxiety.

Talking with others is one of the only things I can do that helps but I can think of little to say and it is hard to relate and very alienating

Anyway hope you enjoyed reading
Maybe I can find some others in similar boat

 

[valleyofthedolls]

You talk about having no developed music taste, but what's stopping you from just listening to music and finding out what you like? It could be an enjoyable experience for you!

 

[eryu]

"neurological damage"

Would top the list right now without going into more exhaustive detail.

I already try. Regularly. As energy and other symptoms allow
And it is generally not an enjoyable experience.

Anyway I would like to keep this thread to find other people with serious struggle engaging in interests and who may relate on this problem. Perhaps it will easier to go into more detail and find constructive solutions (if there are any to be found) with others who have similar experiences.

 

[Charly]

I'm in your same boat. I regularly meet deep interesting people through my boyfriend and i keep always silent during conversations. Nothing to add on top of anything, never an interesting insight and i'm often lost regardless of the topic that is being discussed. It's the reason i want to end everything. I'm ignorant, shallow and dumb and i also don't do anything all day. I don't have particular interests. I feel extremely guilty for having people care of me and i feel like they should just stop so i could go without remorse. I also feel extremely alienated. Sorry if that was depressing

 

[eryu]

I'm in your same boat. I regularly meet deep interesting people through my boyfriend and i keep always silent during conversations. Nothing to add on top of anything, never an interesting insight and i'm often lost regardless of the topic that is being discussed. It's the reason i want to end everything. I'm ignorant, shallow and dumb and i also don't do anything all day. I don't have particular interests. I feel extremely guilty for having people care of me and i feel like they should just stop so i could go without remorse. I also feel extremely alienated. Sorry if that was depressing

No no don't worry about being depressing. It is sasu after all. Its a very sad state to be in and causes a lot profound shame. I have more to say but I'm nearly sleep now.

 

[SweetChariot]

I consider myself the same, been living life in my room all the time, most of my hobbies are indoors just watchign or playing something
Used to had friends in school and went around but didn't really amount to much beside hanging out
Did exactly 2 months of work and it stressed me so much it regressed me to this state for this and here i am, i can relate to what you're saying, i haven't been living a life at all and i just want to get it over with

 

[bagel12]

I've been fucked up and unable to focus on things since beginning of adolescence

Even just watching YouTube videos or reading Wikipedia articles was prohibitively difficult when I was younger and I'm currently stuck in a state where the ability to consume any regular entertainment that might distract me from my horrible life is nigh impossible.
No developed music taste which is a huge source of embarrassment and pain because I think that would have helped me get through a lot of my life cushioning a lot of the blows.
Almost everyone very apparently had more going for them in terms of things to talk about. Memories of interests and small enjoyable things that they can talk about without each one being hideously painful. I do talk about a smattering of things but it is shallow, not much knowledge about anything.. Incapable of acquiring much more at any reasonable rate and whenever I'm talking about thing with fondness it is in a state where I'm managing to suspend the grief of each memory being a reminder of an unbearably shallow wasted life.

I'm looking for people with similar experience to talk to.
I'm looking for people who find it hard to talk to others because of lack of interest, experiences, etc.

There will be different degrees of course but might as well see if anyone comes.

Earlier on in life I was extremely confused and never felt settled or able to take things in. Plus vicious intense social anxiety which fucked everything even more.. Now it is sort of the same but with neurological damage (acquired just as I thought thing may turn around finally). But minus the (worst of the) social anxiety.

Talking with others is one of the only things I can do that helps but I can think of little to say and it is hard to relate and very alienating

Anyway hope you enjoyed reading
Maybe I can find some others in similar boat

i am sorry that you're going through this, it sounds very isolating and difficult :( i hope your neurological symptoms improve

i have friends who are similar, they don't have hobbies/interests, they dont talk about topics or about themselves, often because of trauma and chronic illness. these experiences make their life more difficult and they feel shame and sadness about it.

but in my friendships with them, it's a trait i really appreciate, i dont view it as negative. i like that i can just be in their presence. i do chill activities with them that dont require a lot of talking, like coloring books, legos, playing a simple game together, watching a chill nature video together, or sitting at a park with them. i can just exist with them without expectations, pressure, or judgment.

it's really nice, and they are some of my most cherished friendships. i feel more comfortable around them than i do with my more talkative friends. because with talkative friends, i have to prove myself, pretend im not depressed, and justify how i spend my free time, which is less pleasant.

what i am trying to say is that there are people out there who truly appreciate people like you. i hope that they come into your life, because you deserve friends who like you for who you are :)

 

[LongJacks]

I've been fucked up and unable to focus on things since beginning of adolescence

Even just watching YouTube videos or reading Wikipedia articles was prohibitively difficult when I was younger and I'm currently stuck in a state where the ability to consume any regular entertainment that might distract me from my horrible life is nigh impossible.
No developed music taste which is a huge source of embarrassment and pain because I think that would have helped me get through a lot of my life cushioning a lot of the blows.
Almost everyone very apparently had more going for them in terms of things to talk about. Memories of interests and small enjoyable things that they can talk about without each one being hideously painful. I do talk about a smattering of things but it is shallow, not much knowledge about anything.. Incapable of acquiring much more at any reasonable rate and whenever I'm talking about thing with fondness it is in a state where I'm managing to suspend the grief of each memory being a reminder of an unbearably shallow wasted life.

I'm looking for people with similar experience to talk to.
I'm looking for people who find it hard to talk to others because of lack of interest, experiences, etc.

There will be different degrees of course but might as well see if anyone comes.

Earlier on in life I was extremely confused and never felt settled or able to take things in. Plus vicious intense social anxiety which fucked everything even more.. Now it is sort of the same but with neurological damage (acquired just as I thought thing may turn around finally). But minus the (worst of the) social anxiety.

Talking with others is one of the only things I can do that helps but I can think of little to say and it is hard to relate and very alienating

Anyway hope you enjoyed reading
Maybe I can find some others in similar boat

I've pretty much went through the same thing and Ik how hollow it feels not being able to watch a video or a movie without getting irritated or listening to music without getting bored, or playing a video game and not feeling any joy just... nothingness... it's a scary feeling... being desensitised is cruel

I don't consider myself entirely a NEET but I kind of am, I don't go out the house often if at all but I constantly go around my mom's house and talk with her and such (Not a good talker but forced to socialize with her although it's like talking to a brick wall) If only I lived in my own place I would gladly become a NEET, I hate socializing irl it's awkward and it sucks ass... I completely understand your feelings and most people here will too