J
justtryingtocease
Member
- May 20, 2025
- 31
Not a suicide pact, but someone who I can plan with, preferably on another platform with easier to use chat function.
For context, I havent left my house since January.
I shower and brush my teeth once a week (disgusting, I know).
All I do is sleep, wake up, eat and watch tiktoks, youtube videos, and game every waking second because if i stop, i think about my reality and why would i want to do that.
I havent been taking my meds either.
So Im looking to lock in, start taking my meds for my depression and adhd etcetra, and start actually planning and making an effort towards suicide.
Ive been living in an avoidant state towards everything, including suicide and doing research/ preparing for it.
And because I live in Japan, where lethal drugs are hard to access, my only option for when im impulsive is partial hanging which im too much of a pussy to do.
Anyway, Im looking for a buddy.
You dont have to be looking to ctb soon, though I'd help you do research if youd like.
For context, I havent left my house since January.
I shower and brush my teeth once a week (disgusting, I know).
All I do is sleep, wake up, eat and watch tiktoks, youtube videos, and game every waking second because if i stop, i think about my reality and why would i want to do that.
I havent been taking my meds either.
So Im looking to lock in, start taking my meds for my depression and adhd etcetra, and start actually planning and making an effort towards suicide.
Ive been living in an avoidant state towards everything, including suicide and doing research/ preparing for it.
And because I live in Japan, where lethal drugs are hard to access, my only option for when im impulsive is partial hanging which im too much of a pussy to do.
Anyway, Im looking for a buddy.
You dont have to be looking to ctb soon, though I'd help you do research if youd like.