girlboything
drugged up doll
- Jun 1, 2023
- 56
hey sorry, im very not sure if this is a good place to post about this but when i have tried to ask other places its been deleted.
i am still suicidal at baseline but not like, acutely. since i last posted i have been discharged from residential.
ok so. my current obsession is long term damage that will make me die sooner but not right away and not look like suicide. so like, i started smoking cigarettes again, sometimes i eat the butts when im done too. i tried inhalants but it fucked my memory way too fast. i've been trying to remember to take ibuprofen multiple times a day even though i dont need it. just like... vaguely socially acceptable behaviors that are factually harmful over time. i was wondering if anyone had any other ideas? people keep thinking this is a joke and telling me to do meth but thats not really my thing and seems too fast and dramatic. i have also been reusing single use plastic containers for food and water a lot and sometimes microwaving bottled water and drinking that. i have also added a low but consistent dose of benadryl. im kinda of trying to hit as many angles as i can but not like, immediately have to go to the ER or something. im also planning on avoiding certain preventative medical screenings.
so yea just wanted to ask. sorry i know its a little different then the main theme of the site. hope you folks are doing as reasonably as you can <3
i am still suicidal at baseline but not like, acutely. since i last posted i have been discharged from residential.
ok so. my current obsession is long term damage that will make me die sooner but not right away and not look like suicide. so like, i started smoking cigarettes again, sometimes i eat the butts when im done too. i tried inhalants but it fucked my memory way too fast. i've been trying to remember to take ibuprofen multiple times a day even though i dont need it. just like... vaguely socially acceptable behaviors that are factually harmful over time. i was wondering if anyone had any other ideas? people keep thinking this is a joke and telling me to do meth but thats not really my thing and seems too fast and dramatic. i have also been reusing single use plastic containers for food and water a lot and sometimes microwaving bottled water and drinking that. i have also added a low but consistent dose of benadryl. im kinda of trying to hit as many angles as i can but not like, immediately have to go to the ER or something. im also planning on avoiding certain preventative medical screenings.
so yea just wanted to ask. sorry i know its a little different then the main theme of the site. hope you folks are doing as reasonably as you can <3
