Venting List the reasons your life is ruined

[blvck]

1. Bad parenting - father should have never had kids. Wish he never met my mom
2. Unnatural anxiety and fear about the future
3. Afraid to confess to people (would rather keep a secret till I die)
4. Future is hopeless anyway, we're all gonna die eventually
5. Feel like I have to be perfect and that I can't make any mistakes
6. Have no outlet to talk to anyone honestly with out fear of judgement
7. Wasted my time and crossed my boundaries for someone that doesn't care about me
8. Ugly
9. Everything is my fault

 

[Life]

Pretty much everything is my fault

 

[blvck]

Pretty much everything is my fault

that's a good one, I forgot to add that to my list too

 

[pepperfarmer]

My life isn't materially ruined. It's me and my mind that's the problem. I'm probably one of the few people with the kind of trauma where it truly wasn't my parent's fault at all. It was other family members that poisoned the well for my mother and I guess the trauma trickled down, although she did her best to protect me.

 

[Vombie12]

1. Family issues (major-)
2. Social anxiety
3. BPD/PTSD (ig just mental illness)
4. Never taking opportunities
5. Being stuck in life
6. Feeling Like I don't belong
7. Being scared to do anything/have any change
8. Not trying to get help sooner

 

[FuneralCry]

It is because I was forced to exist in the first place, existence is the problem, to suffer in this existence is a mistake and it's so terrible how humans cause all this suffering there was never a need for by imposing this existence where there is no limit as to how much one can be tortured, I'll always see it as an abomination to exist. All that existence ever does is just torture existing beings, no matter what the peace of non-existence is all I could ever see as desirable and positive, I'll always see it as the most terrible, undeserved punishment to be burdened with this existence of torturous, futile suffering that there was never a need for at all.

 

[RazzleDazzle]

It's my fault. All the bad decisions I've made. And I'm too isolated, too alone, and too sick to fix anything now.

 

[ondeathwaitlist]

No love. No one's first choice. No one's wanted.

 

[sleepytime5]

Severe OCD and mental ilnesses

 

[thelostsoul]

1. Im an atheist women in a Muslim country
2. Im an immigrant and in any day i could be deported and my home country in a war and famine
3.i have autism
4. Being alive cost so much money
5. I feel like I will never have the chance to live the life that i wanted and to be a free women while im young so there's no point of suffering
6. I feel very bad about being useless and I rely on my siblings
7. My dad is neglected and a big loser and he never did anything to secure our future and my mom is an abuser who is jealous of her daughter and did destroy my life by confining

 

[HoleDweller]

It is because I was forced to exist in the first place, existence is the problem, to suffer in this existence is a mistake and it's so terrible how humans cause all this suffering there was never a need for by imposing this existence where there is no limit as to how much one can be tortured, I'll always see it as an abomination to exist. All that existence ever does is just torture existing beings, no matter what the peace of non-existence is all I could ever see as desirable and positive, I'll always see it as the most terrible, undeserved punishment to be burdened with this existence of torturous, futile suffering that there was never a need for at all.

agreed, it's not specifically about my life sucking but life itself does, the way i see it happiness is just a brief respite from the natural suffering life provides, rather than actual positives.

 

[Playingwiththedead]

I have CPTSD mostly because of my mom, i get very triggered and my brain shuts down at even the slightest attempt at school/work, so i cant do either and thus cant make money to escape her.
I have had people help me to leave before, and i thought i was going to be able to finally get somewhere now that i was away from her, but i quickly discovered that everywhere i go she also goes because i have her voice in my head constantly triggering me and giving me panic attacks and nightmares, and general constant anxiety.
Maybe when i was younger escaping wouldve helped, but now that shes also implanted in my brain i will never be able to be truly rid of her and thus be at peace/happy any other way except dying.

 

[3rdworldsadness]

It's a lot of reasons. Basically I just don't understand this life, top of everything I was born very different from others in conditions, life is extremely hard, I live in 3rd world, dumb, unloved, blank mind, and no freedom, unattractive dark skin, basically I am an anomaly.

 

[sobeit0]

I experienced something that I don't know of anyone else experiencing other than in a story I read once. It brings forth so much despair I can not think of a reason to live other than I will just hurt people that are hurt by dying. I feel like an alien and existence is so surreal. I don't want to talk about it. I don't want to 'unpack it in therapy' when I have already done so on my own. I don't even want comfort. I tried venting to a suicide hotline multiple times just to feel relief for a while, but it lasts for so little it's not even worth the effort. I feel like I'm two people and the other person that should have stayed is gone, while the me here is trapped.

 

[PeaceSeeker83]

Chronic mental illness, done enough/seen enough already, too intelligent for this hell realm.

 

[blvck]

All very good reasons

 

[pthnrdnojvsc]

I don't want to list any personal reasons now which are much worse than general for any human

but just venting about general reasons i wonder

why anyone would want to be a machine a brain that can suffer continuous unbearable pain?

why would anyone want to be a small animal to which something extremely horrible can happen any second . the most horrible things and the worst pain outweigh the pleasurable fleeting meaningless addictions by a billion times

why would anybody want to be in a dangerous place continuously exposed to danger? life and this world are dangerous. life and this world can severely harm or extremely torture any human any day.

and on top of that to be a slave to ur body needs , to mind , to society to our slavers etc ?

and on top of that to have to work a job chores solve problems suffer regularly for no objective reason as life is meaningless suffering ?

and summed on that to be a small decaying small animal a machine that is decaying and will be very old?

and summed on top to be 30 trillion cells ?

and imo we're all brainwashed to believe mostly lies

many more some i have never written here including to put all these together in horror of why we were brought here but i won't say why. but it's nothing supernatural as i don't believe in any afterlife religion etc we are machines

 

[isolute_2488]

1. Recurrent MDD (or Bipolar II Disorder)
2. Trauma caused by my own actions
3. Extreme avoidant personality

 

[Le temps perdu]

1.born into high-pressure with no freedom environment, being trapped in a society that makes me feel suffocated (i can't escape )
2.I can't choose a good education system when i was a teenager
3.My bio-father cheated when I was very young and treat me unfairly(compared his other child) , materially and also through serious mental neglect toward me.( i wish he hadn't have kids)
4.have no talent whatsoever, I can't do anything right.
5.my personality is a mess, I have no idea how to make friends.
6.I hate myself, and the things i hate about myself are true
7.I can't live a good life when i am young, I have no money, and without money I have no real choices in life

 

[iwillsucceed]

1. I was born a female human.
2. The world is being controlled by illuminati that owns mainstream media, decides what people learn in schools, decide what we do, our health, our access/ non access to things, our culture (misogynistic and woman abuse friendly) , so that I am physically and mentally sick and I'm poor no matter how much I whip myself to work with my chronic illness.
3. I have no fucking family
4. I don't know parental love but this i rly don't care about.
5. I have severe brain damage and nerve damage incurred from suicide attempts which should have succeeded but got ruined just before they did.
6. I am and always have been alone. Isolation kills ants and it does humans. It's just natural
7. ️physical hell pain with endometriosis is enough to want to die without all the other reasons.
8. Everything I held unto/ believed in/ had faith in was just some feel good lie that got me to a worse place in the end.
9. It's natural for someone who went thru so much torture to die off. I want to follow the natural course of things. Not worth uselessly fighting.

Life is just shit. It doesn't mean anything except it takes a person being masochistic to keep living it. I never wanted to be born into this shit world. Child torture woman torture and nobody fucking cares because these are common things after all.

 

[Passenger4224]

1. I'm trapped in a man's body

I'd list the others but it's already game over from this reason alone

 

[valar_morghulis21]

1. Bad parenting - father should have never had kids. Wish he never met my mom
2. Unnatural anxiety and fear about the future
3. Afraid to confess to people (would rather keep a secret till I die)
4. Future is hopeless anyway, we're all gonna die eventually
5. Feel like I have to be perfect and that I can't make any mistakes
6. Have no outlet to talk to anyone honestly with out fear of judgement
7. Wasted my time and crossed my boundaries for someone that doesn't care about me
8. Ugly
9. Everything is my fault

My life is not ruined per say. Just see no point of continuing this cycle of meaningless. I'm disabled and mentally ill and won't be able to hold down a job, so when my mom dies I'll have no financial support

 

[earlydecay]

My own body is slowly failing itself, and my health is degenerative at this point.
Due in part to that, plus my own laziness in the time before and since, I'm behind. Just generally. Behind socially, behind in achievements, behind in becoming an adult. I had to drop out of college.
I am lovable and am loved, but knowing that it'll always be temporary and one day will come to an end scares me enough to avoid it almost entirely.
QoL and cost of living for my generation (and just everyone, really,) is near unachievable and even moreso for me and the state of my health.
Have long lost the will to keep going and any motivation to be productive with my life.

 

[Khaos_Playground]

1. dysphoria will never get better because I just wont pass as a woman ever
2. poverty
3. highschool dropout thanks to traumatic shit in highschool making me unable to finish it, no chance at ever getting a job
4. insomnia from severe ptsd, any time I try to sleep it feels like someone I love will die again
5. inability to process grief in the slightest, it feels like im delusional sometimes from how bad it is and it only has gotten worse with time
6. I live in a red state with no way out of here, if I even tried to dress feminine publicly I'd likely be beaten up
7. my parents were shit to me my whole life and I can't leave, my dad accused me of drugging him once so that he wouldnt get divorced for shit he did while drunk or high lol, still get nightmares about that shit, not to mention the time he choked me out and ripped my hair out and cops took his fucking side
8. pretty much everyone I love is so so distant. me and my girlfriend rarely talk and when we do its brief, my friends normally dont message unless to vent except for a small few
9. amnesia from the DID fucks me over constantly (yet for some reason it wont take the trauma from my memories when I need it to, funny how that works)
10. even though I recognize pretty much none of this is my fault, the lack of fault only makes me want to die more. I didn't do that much wrong. I've been a bad person at times sure but I don't think I did anything to deserve this life. maybe I was like a nazi in a past life or something lol

 

[cursedlife]

1 schizophrenia
2 extreme poverty
3 PTSD
4 extremely weak eyesight
5 unemployed mainly because of my schizophrenia
6 I live in a shithole Arab country where atheists face abandonment and isolation
7 horrible anxiety and akathisia it's driving me insane
I think of suicide so often that it's a coping mechanism and I don't know when I'll end my life , maybe in a year , maybe in a month .

 

[overlyforgetfuldove]

1. Extremely poor childhood
2. Physically fucked up due to my parents both being users
3. Poor mental state, severe OCD and BPD, both treatment resistant
4. Sexual abuse within the family (ties into the childhood thing :-/)
5. No worthwhile skills or talents, not naturally good at anything
6. State of the world as a whole, I feel so hopeless with the way it's currently going. I just don't know how I'd even help the world if it could get better.

 

[SealsOfTheArctic]

1) I can't have kids.
That's seriously it. I've always wanted to be a mum but I can't have children. No amount of volunteering, being an aunt or having pets will make that hurt less. I can cope with all the trauma in my past, but that's the one that makes me want to CTB.

 

[Pluto]

 

[miq2k]

1. Various overlapping comorbid disorders (CPTSD, SzPD, not yet diagnosed but very likely ODC, Autism, secondary Depression) That themselves don't make my life hell, honestly I can deal with them, but the world around me makes that SO INCREDIBLY DIFFICULT!!!
2. Heavy childhood trauma of which the effects are still haunting me, unbeknownst to me ruining all my relationships
3. Academic failure, barely passing and limiting my future through my own manipulation and self destruction
4. Current state of the world makes it so that: Once a migrant, always a migrant. Germany is home but I'm from a Black Muslim household and that makes me an enemy.
Sudan could be Home but I'm gay and trans and that makes me an enemy.
So that even if I had money, the world splits in hating me for my ethnicity or my gender identity/sexuality, and it becomes impossible where somebody like me is accepted.
5. Addiction.


Despite that I don't fully think my life is ruined… I am such a lucky person to always have support or at the very least acceptance from the friends I have made along my youth and the Family members that love me even when they believe I am a horrible sinner and I believe they have caused all my mental health problems. The love between me and the people I love is made of stainless steel. My life will be ruined once I don't have them anymore, until then, there will always be hope… I hope xp

 

[Jonah Byrde]

I have CPTSD mostly because of my mom, i get very triggered and my brain shuts down at even the slightest attempt at school/work, so i cant do either and thus cant make money to escape her.
I have had people help me to leave before, and i thought i was going to be able to finally get somewhere now that i was away from her, but i quickly discovered that everywhere i go she also goes because i have her voice in my head constantly triggering me and giving me panic attacks and nightmares, and general constant anxiety.
Maybe when i was younger escaping wouldve helped, but now that shes also implanted in my brain i will never be able to be truly rid of her and thus be at peace/happy any other way except dying.

For me it's a constant replaying of memories over and over.