ImpairedLowlife
Empty and hollow
- Aug 3, 2020
- 407
For many years at this point I really wanted to get braces and, but due to different financial and overall life issues it wasn't possible. It was meant to be done April this year, but after checking my teeth x-ray orthodontist straight up refused and said it's too difficult of a case. My bite is pretty fucked up and the BEST CASE scenario it will require 3+ years of treatment and an operation on the skull.
And this is the best case scenario. Realistically I very well might not even find a doctor who wants to treat it at all. Not to mention insane financial expenses.
I'm really tired of being so fucking ugly and insecure about myself. And I don't want to cope and pretend I'm fine when my face shape is awful and when I speak I always try not to open my mouth wide enough that teeth are visible. So please, don't tell me that everyone including myself is beautiful. It's a straight up prolife bs.
My teens and early 20s are already wasted with self loathing and loneliness and now future looks pretty grim.
Other than this, my social isolation is on its peak. I haven't had real life friends in over 6 years and even my circle of online friends is deteriorating. And the worst thing is I'm getting used to it. Being alone and miserable seems like the only possible fate for me.
If another orthodontist refuses me for being "too difficult of a case" I might just drink my SN. After 5 long years on and off this forum, I might finally end myself this summer.
I just wish I wasn't such a disguising, miserable and pathetic failure in every possible sense.
And this is the best case scenario. Realistically I very well might not even find a doctor who wants to treat it at all. Not to mention insane financial expenses.
I'm really tired of being so fucking ugly and insecure about myself. And I don't want to cope and pretend I'm fine when my face shape is awful and when I speak I always try not to open my mouth wide enough that teeth are visible. So please, don't tell me that everyone including myself is beautiful. It's a straight up prolife bs.
My teens and early 20s are already wasted with self loathing and loneliness and now future looks pretty grim.
Other than this, my social isolation is on its peak. I haven't had real life friends in over 6 years and even my circle of online friends is deteriorating. And the worst thing is I'm getting used to it. Being alone and miserable seems like the only possible fate for me.
If another orthodontist refuses me for being "too difficult of a case" I might just drink my SN. After 5 long years on and off this forum, I might finally end myself this summer.
I just wish I wasn't such a disguising, miserable and pathetic failure in every possible sense.
