Life wants to bully me to death

[I'm exhausted]

Don't resist anxiety. Then I guess don't resist wanting to die?

Anywhere I go I suffocate.

I'm paying for a semi private space that my roommate thinks is okay to go and go through my stuff then putting them wherever he thinks they belong in the apartment. There's a reason why I don't do that because I don't want my things to be scattered all over the place and I don't fully trust where I'm at. Asked what things he has touched and where he moved them to to which he said he doesn't know. So now I don't know what I'm missing. Then knowing fully that I have depression and anxiety calls me lazy. He gets mad at me for being mad at him for touching my things and not telling me what and where he had placed them. Second time since I moved in a month ago where I had a meltdown because of him. So now I don't know what I'm missing and leaving here will be that much difficult. And yeah he says many times he wants to be with me and tried to kiss me while his "gf" was sleeping in their bed. How the hell am I supposed to trust him based on the three things I just mentioned EVEN if I were attracted to him which I'm not AT ALL.

But I have no where safe to go. Emotionally, mentally, physically. And I found out this roommate could be a rapist. Which I think may really have happened considering he tried to kiss me. Like I never gave him that impression. While other female roommate is saying this guy likes me. I can't get a break. I'm so tired.

What makes people think they can do whatever they want with me!?

 

[oxymoron]

Your title is apt as fuck. It's like we are in a abusive relationship with life while it beats the shit out of us and we are too fucking scared to leave it.

 

[I'm exhausted]

I know. I had an interview for my own place and ofcourse I don't hear back because of the virus crap.

 

[oxymoron]

Your title is apt as fuck. It's like we are in a abusive relationship with life while it beats the shit out of us and we are too fucking scared to leave it.

And I think it will bully me to death if I do not bully myself up and kick the bitch of a life in its face.

 

[the box is empty]

Is it feasible to move home? Your situation sounds horrifying

 

[I'm exhausted]

Is it feasible to move home? Your situation sounds horrifying

I wish I can. And it's sad to say this isn't the first time something like this has happened. So even if I can find another place I'm scared it'll happen again.