Now as I reach this point in my life where I am determined to ctb, I acknowledge the past decisions I made which have led me to this crisis. If we are here for a reason, to learn something, then unfortunately I've learnt the following. Don't trust anyone or take them at their word. Be selfish, be greedy, money is the most important thing. True love does not exist. Nasty people win and nice guys finish last. It's appallingly sad, but there it is. Of course, I have not put greed first, I did believe in love (until I had that psychologically beaten out of me). I know life is beautiful. The sun on your face, a hug, kittens -its all good. But society, other people and your family OMG. So here I am, at breaking point and wondering why I cant crush my carotids easily, despite reading everything there is on this website. Anyone else feel simmilar?
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