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allym101

allym101

Ally
May 29, 2020
279
you ever have those moments where the world just seems still? sometimes i dont even feel real, life is so weird. i look at the things around me and i just feel weird. my date couldn't come soon enough. i want to attempt already but i know one of the worst things to do in an attempt is rush into it unplanned. this is it. im not gonna fail again. im tired of failing at everything including my own fucking death. yknow i wonder what people will say when im gone, i wonder what type of imprint ive left on this earth. i feel so pathetic.
 
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G

Georgii

Arcanist
Sep 25, 2019
433
Life is indeed weird, most of it I looked around and just felt so .. out of place ?Im not supposed to be here , Im not supposed to exist ..it's a weird feeling I can't explain .
I know what people will say about me and Ive come to accept it .
 
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MiseryLovesMyCompany

MiseryLovesMyCompany

Arcanist
Oct 8, 2020
482
Everything felt especially unreal after my failed attempts.
Im not supposed to be here , Im not supposed to exist
Exactly! That describes it the best.
These feelings never faded away just became somewhat more manageable, still it is so surreal to exist. At least now I have a rather reliable way to cease existing, and it is really tempting to just make that SN drink now.
I asked someone if I looked pathetic not too long ago, and the answer was yes so it's not just me then, that was a funny conversation indeed. Luckily, I don't have to worry about these things once this is all over.
 
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262653

262653

Cluesome
Apr 5, 2018
1,733
Yep. Looks like a sustained dream, except I can feel the pain and the weight of the body. And the laws of physics, preventing me to do fun things. Tis a strange feeling, interacting with strangers. Hearing and interpreting what they say. Reading and interpreting messages I see here. So much of everything going on all the time, with or without my awareness.

Ed: Oh, and reading my own messages. Like a machine observing it's own output, taking it in, and producing another output.
 
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