Life is a cruel joke

[Graham.N]

The past few months I have been having terrible insomnia. I often struggle to fall asleep. I will get in bed around 10 pm and toss and turn until mid night. On lucky night I will fall asleep and only wake up when one time around 2 or 3 am, other nights it will be two to three time. I've tried melatonin and magnesium. These actually have a reverse effect on my. The past experiences showed me that they didn't help so I tried increasing the dose, 30 mg melatonin and 1.5 the recommended does for magnesium and by increasing the dose not on did I not fall asleep I didn't fall asleep until 6am. The things in the past that I use to use to help me sleep and help me cope with being alive are wrong and if I engage with them I will 100% loose my job and make it next to impossible to get a job. This lack of sleep has been have a major impact on numerous aspects of my life. For the longest time it made it very difficult to drive. I have recently started paying for Full Self Driving and regained my independence there. But it still brings me down. I could really use a friend that I can talk. Just talk about our days and things we are interested in. I'm hoping I fall asleep soon. I got things to do tomorrow and would like some rest. Plan A is to live but plan b is forfeit. In chess if you drag the game out even when you know you are certain to lose (all you have left is a king and they a strong board presence) it is unsportsmanlike to drag the game out.

 

[frayed]

do you wish to ask a doctor to prescribe you something that is stronger than melatonin?

 

[Graham.N]

do you wish to ask a doctor to prescribe you something that is stronger than melatonin?

That's the plan. But the thought of being on pills long term scare me. I've been there too many times. The last time the med I was on there was constant shortages and I was work up to 70hrs/week the last thing I wanted to do was play tag with my doctor, insurance, and pharmacy. It's like if you had three cups. The first cup sits above all three and the one bellow and strategically placed below with the middle one above the bottom one. The two bottom cups a Pythagoras Cups. The top cup represents sleep, for example, it gets drill and there is a whole one the bottom. The liquid start leaving the top cup and fill the middle up. It's not much but tops off the cup causing it to over fill. The cup fill to the top and the siphon activates. This cup was depression. With depression emptying in to the ADHD cup bellow, this cup too empties and drains from the siphon activating. No all cups are empty. This is how I feel. With out the proper support or remidies in place this system will repeat its self indefinitely. But this gets complicated how some drugs are subjectively better and safer that other even though user experience has shown otherwise, and while this user my be an anomaly there experience are valid and their desired treatment may be the one treatment capable of saving their life

 

[SchizoGymnast]

I'm here to talk if you like.

I often feel like life just gives you shit, only to yank out the rug from underneath you.
Also antipsychotics are pretty effective at knocking people out. If I take one of those and nap in the car, I got cops knocking on my window!

 

[Praestat_Mori]

The major question is what causes the insomnia? Do you have thoughts that don't let you fall asleep - thoughts (stress) that keeps you awake?

work up to 70hrs/week

Honestly, that sounds like a lot of stress and not healthy at all.

 

[Csmith8827]

Dude order 50mg trazodone off indiamart. It works and is safe long term....

 

[darksouls]

I am very sorry for your situation
sending you hugs and love

 

[FuneralCry]

It really is so cruel, it's so cruel to me how there's all this suffering in existing with no limit as to how much one can suffer, I hope you find the relief you search for.