Venting Life as a woman in the middle east

[Reyishere]

I hate being a woman in this society i know my life would have been 10 times better if i were a man. Sure they are not immune to depression and what not but they still can walk outside without being forced to cover their whole body. They don't need to be accompanied by a male figure whenever they step outside of their house. They can be independent in their teens. It's not weird for them to live alone or study abroad solo. They are always the pride of the family. The religion and society are in their side. No matter what i can never have this level of freedom or privileges. I will forever be the daughter the wife-to-be the mother. I can't be a person with dreams and goals.

 

[Lady_V]

They have religion on their side because they made it.

 

[madameviolette]

I also read it's illegal to suicide there and you can have severe punishment or go to jail :(

 

[otimeia]

Not everybody fits these kind of rules. It's violent to force us inside a box that don't fit us.

 

[LastNite]

which country in the middle east? some of them are less worse than others.

 

[Reyishere]

I also read it's illegal to suicide there and you can have severe punishment or go to jail :(

Yeah im not sure about if the law is implemented but it's true, "legally" it's prohibited to attempt

 

[MiaSanMia]

Entering life not knowing where/what sex/ poor or rich, is really quite the worst ever.

 

[Worndown]

Sorry.
We humans have a long way to go in our developement.

 

[ScholarOfDespair]

Its a cursed shithole with a cursed religion created by a warlord. I also come from the MENA region, so I understand what you mean. I hope you can one day escape it.

 

[U. A.]

All cultures are still barbaric. Some are just more barbaric.
The customary dehumanization of women in certain places is extra putrid.
Sorry for your draw in the cosmic lottery...I hope you can escape.

 

[khairan]

I feel very sorry about you, girl.

Living in a religious society is hell; specially if it involves Islam. I've seen a few videos by Mike Okay in Afghanistan and it was heartbreaking to see the little girls being deprived of education because someone shithead in the middle ages came up with that idea.

To think some people in the Western world want to bring back religious government.

 

[LushLantern]

I hate being a woman in this society i know my life would have been 10 times better if i were a man. Sure they are not immune to depression and what not but they still can walk outside without being forced to cover their whole body. They don't need to be accompanied by a male figure whenever they step outside of their house. They can be independent in their teens. It's not weird for them to live alone or study abroad solo. They are always the pride of the family. The religion and society are in their side. No matter what i can never have this level of freedom or privileges. I will forever be the daughter the wife-to-be the mother. I can't be a person with dreams and goals.

I truly despise the mindset that feminism is a white western exclusive concept. It's for ALL women, or at least it should be. This view that people in the middle east and people of color in general are a hivemind with the same specific religious standpoint and ideas just because they exist in the same culture is just blatant racism. I hope you're able to feel supported however you can. Knowing you deserve better and are more than how you're perceived regardless of what the world around you thinks is crucial.

 

[tellingthetruth]

I'm so sorry you have to face this. I cannot imagine what it is like living in a society where these kinds of ideas about gender are seen as 'how it is' or 'as god intended'. Are you religious yourself?

 

[Reyishere]

I'm so sorry you have to face this. I cannot imagine what it is like living in a society where these kinds of ideas about gender are seen as 'how it is' or 'as god intended'. Are you religious yourself?

No. And that's just as bad as being a woman here. My dad is very religious he majored in Islamic studies. I, on the other hand, am a maga-atheist haha. My dad hates me even before he found about my beliefs because I'm simply a woman and عار or "disgrace". It's just part of our society. Not to mention he wrs never meant to be a dad. All if us, even my brothers, are just burdens.

 

[tellingthetruth]

No. And that's just as bad as being a woman here. My dad is very religious he majored in Islamic studies. I, on the other hand, am a maga-atheist haha. My dad hates me even before he found about my beliefs because I'm simply a woman and عار or "disgrace". It's just part of our society. Not to mention he wrs never meant to be a dad. All if us, even my brothers, are just burdens.

That's awful. I'm sorry.
I wish people realised what creating a life means. The responsibility a parent has towards their children emotionally, psychologically, etc.

I'm trying not to say anything naive, but I really want to ask if it's possible to build somewhat of a better life away from your family somehow? Like, do you know others who are like you IRL? Could you marry an open-minded friend in order to escape this hell? I'm sorry if these are stupid questions.

 

[PI3.14]

Another middle eastern here, and I hate this culture and society with passion.

It's very self destructive culture if you ask me. I'm also an atheist, my parents know that too, they don't approve ofc.

Being born here is a curse, regardless of gender, imo. Women do however have it worse, unfortunately.

Well, it won't matter after I CTB.

 

[Minjas]

Don't get married.
I'll say it again, DO NOT get married.
Whatever happens, don't accept marriage wether it's arranged marriage or if your longtime love proposes to you.

That's just another step into total self-destruction. I am not from the middle east but the majority of my friends are middle eastern, also I live in a quite conservative area in eastern Europe where women are more or less cooked too, depending in which family they are born in. Still, I am aware that the middle east is ten times worse than here for a woman.

Still, you have the power to refuse marriage. You have the power to fight for yourself as long as you're an unmarried woman and not a man's property. Fight for your escape, and for the love of god do not get married.

Once you do, all your life will be dictated by a man and his parents. You won't have any say. You will just be "someone's wife". Not in all cases but sadly in 98% of conservative marriages end up to be a nightmare for the woman

 

[Reyishere]

That's awful. I'm sorry.
I wish people realised what creating a life means. The responsibility a parent has towards their children emotionally, psychologically, etc.

I'm trying not to say anything naive, but I really want to ask if it's possible to build somewhat of a better life away from your family somehow? Like, do you know others who are like you IRL? Could you marry an open-minded friend in order to escape this hell? I'm sorry if these are stupid questions.

Don't worry i don't mind these kind of questions. It is very hard to do so. I legally can move out of the house and do what I want bud the society is built so it's hard for women to independent. I don't have income not even my parents give me allowance. So I'm 100% financially dependent on them. Therefore i can't move out. And if I act out i lose so much of what i barley have. For example i was supposed to participate in competition in another country but my dad found my IG acc where i had my face as pfp with no hijab or niqab. I know that was dumb but I genuinely thought i blocked all of my family members. Anyhow, i won't go there and my parents are planning to take my passport away so i don't do anything that could disgrace them. I'm still worried that I won't be allowed to go to uni. I still don't know what's going to happen. I'm waiting for the school break to end so I can know that.

As for people like me irl. I do. Most of my friends have similar experiences but some have more privileges than others. I don't have anyone i trust enough to marry besides marriage here is arranged and my parents are looking for men that align with their religious beliefs.

Don't get married.
I'll say it again, DO NOT get married.
Whatever happens, don't accept marriage wether it's arranged marriage or if your longtime love proposes to you.

That's just another step into total self-destruction. I am not from the middle east but the majority of my friends are middle eastern, also I live in a quite conservative area in eastern Europe where women are more or less cooked too, depending in which family they are born in. Still, I am aware that the middle east is ten times worse than here for a woman.

Still, you have the power to refuse marriage. You have the power to fight for yourself as long as you're an unmarried woman and not a man's property. Fight for your escape, and for the love of god do not get married.

Once you do, all your life will be dictated by a man and his parents. You won't have any say. You will just be "someone's wife". Not in all cases but sadly in 98% of conservative marriages end up to be a nightmare for the woman

Yeah i won't i promise. I'm a lesbian so I have always hated the idea of marrying a man. But the thing is in Islam women shouldn't refuse a man for stupid reasons so if my parents think that e don't have a real reason to say no. Then it's yes. I want to run away or die before that happens

Another middle eastern here, and I hate this culture and society with passion.

It's very self destructive culture if you ask me. I'm also an atheist, my parents know that too, they don't approve ofc.

Being born here is a curse, regardless of gender, imo. Women do however have it worse, unfortunately.

Well, it won't matter after I CTB.

Oh interesting that your parents know about your atheism. Can I ask if you told them or did they found out? My parents once went through my phone and saw some "distributing" things like me being queer and atheist but I tried to act like I repented and no longer think that way

 

[Minjas]

Yeah i won't i promise. I'm a lesbian so I have always hated the idea of marrying a man. But the thing is in Islam women shouldn't refuse a man for stupid reasons so if my parents think that e don't have a real reason to say no. Then it's yes. I want to run away or die before that happens

In Islam a woman (or pretty much anyone) not wanting to marry someone is reason enough to not get married. I've studied Islam for years. Any kind of forced marriage is not valid.
Now it's tricky to convince conservatives that culture ≠ religion but it's important for you to know. No one has the right to force anyone into a marriage they don't want.

I am sorry to hear about your situation and I hope you find escape

 

[YandereMikuMistress]

I hate being a woman in this society i know my life would have been 10 times better if i were a man. Sure they are not immune to depression and what not but they still can walk outside without being forced to cover their whole body. They don't need to be accompanied by a male figure whenever they step outside of their house. They can be independent in their teens. It's not weird for them to live alone or study abroad solo. They are always the pride of the family. The religion and society are in their side. No matter what i can never have this level of freedom or privileges. I will forever be the daughter the wife-to-be the mother. I can't be a person with dreams and goals.

Absolutely, you see it everywhere,, its inescapable,,
Or mabye it just is for me and you,,, but . It feels like we're constantly negotiating degrees of freedom doesn't it,, even in Canada, the expectations and anxieties surrounding gender... are omnipresent and still fucking very apprent,,
Fuck this illusion of choice is quite pervasive isn't it?!
AS IF SOCIETAL CONDITIONING hasn't already preordained our roles TSK.. Freedom is a man made constructed cage, gilded with privilege for some and barbed wire for others,,, makes one yearn for complete societal collapse and human extinction often honestly..


I can only imagine how much more apprent the misogyny and hate is over there,, but really it follows and it seeps into everything,, everywhere..

 

[Aquinas]

The damage Abrahamic religion has done to that region of the world is immeasureable, I feel you OP.

 

[Reyishere]

Absolutely, you see it everywhere,, its inescapable,,
Or mabye it just is for me and you,,, but . It feels like we're constantly negotiating degrees of freedom doesn't it,, even in Canada, the expectations and anxieties surrounding gender... are omnipresent and still fucking very apprent,,
Fuck this illusion of choice is quite pervasive isn't it?!
AS IF SOCIETAL CONDITIONING hasn't already preordained our roles TSK.. Freedom is a man made constructed cage, gilded with privilege for some and barbed wire for others,,, makes one yearn for complete societal collapse and human extinction often honestly..


I can only imagine how much more apprent the misogyny and hate is over there,, but really it follows and it seeps into everything,, everywhere..

I have thought about that too. How everywhere we can still feel trapped. It's almost like if you don't like being alive you will never enjoy anything and will inly focus on the awful things. I told myself if fleeing this country doesn't help then I wasn't meant to be alive anyway.

In Islam a woman (or pretty much anyone) not wanting to marry someone is reason enough to not get married. I've studied Islam for years. Any kind of forced marriage is not valid.
Now it's tricky to convince conservatives that culture ≠ religion but it's important for you to know. No one has the right to force anyone into a marriage they don't want.

I am sorry to hear about your situation and I hope you find escape

Yes that is true no one can force me and even now the laws here are better but you never know how parents can manipulate you into doing something you don't want. I was manipulated to cover my whole face and body at the age of 11 simply because I had my period. I was a child I wouldn't say no to my father and now after years of listening to that request i can't simply say I don't want to do that.
My dad found out about me not covering behind his back and he gave me a long lecture on how disappointed he is in me and that God is punishing the whole family because of me and all of the lack of blessings is due to my actions. They can say harsh words enough to make you scared. But I hope i don't fall easily when it comes to marriage

 

[lastowl]

I wish that all women in those countries could escape, be granted asylum because their human rights are being violated, and leave their sh*tty males and their POS religion behind. I hope you get to be free, I would love to help my sisters in any way I can, just not sure how.

I hate being a woman in this society i know my life would have been 10 times better if i were a man. Sure they are not immune to depression and what not but they still can walk outside without being forced to cover their whole body. They don't need to be accompanied by a male figure whenever they step outside of their house. They can be independent in their teens. It's not weird for them to live alone or study abroad solo. They are always the pride of the family. The religion and society are in their side. No matter what i can never have this level of freedom or privileges. I will forever be the daughter the wife-to-be the mother. I can't be a person with dreams and goal