Letting go of the desire or thought of CTB

[Painless_end]

Letting go of a thought of an outcome that you have come to deeply believe and even hope for is always hard for any person with respect to any outcome.

So it's not really suprising to me that after a prolonged period of feeling suicidal, having to somehow stop feeling suicidal for whatever reason is very difficult.

It almost feels like letting go of the memories of a loved one. Can you ever truly let those thoughts fade away ? Some can, others not so much. They are always there somewhere in the back of the mind.

 

[Mr2005]

I would take being brainwashed at this point if it meant not being suicidal. I wouldn't miss it in the slightest

 

[Meditation guide]

Why would you have to let go of it? It doesn't make sense for you?

 

[Jellyfish42]

Im not sure if its even possible to let go of the thought completely. You'd probably have to actively challenge it or distract yourself and avoid it. After a while the thought to ctb comes somewhat instinctively as an excuse when things dont go your way. Things dont matter as much anymore because you become existential towards everything.

 

[ARW3N]

"The thought of suicide is a great consolation: by means of it one gets through many a dark night." - Nietzsche

 

[Painless_end]

Why would you have to let go of it? It doesn't make sense for you?

I have been unable to put it into any kind of concrete action. I have had to act "normal" as I stay with my parents.

I find that each day just pushed me into an extremely unwelcome confrontation with my own mental challenges rather than finally giving me the courage to end it once for all.

You would think "facing life" as the pro-lifers call it would "toughen me up" but it just makes me lose my mind even more and makes me angrier each day that I have to survive and "face life".

 

[Pharmaruined]

I have been unable to put it into any kind of concrete action. I have had to act "normal" as I stay with my parents.

I find that each day just pushed me into an extremely unwelcome confrontation with my own mental challenges rather than finally giving me the courage to end it once for all.

You would think "facing life" as the pro-lifers call it would "toughen me up" but it just makes me lose my mind even more and makes me angrier each day that I have to survive and "face life".

Reminds me of this quote:

'We change our behavior when the pain of staying the same becomes greater than the pain of changing. Consequences give us the pain that motivates us to change.'

Dr. Henry Cloud & Dr. John Townsend

 

[Painless_end]

Reminds me of this quote:

'We change our behavior when the pain of staying the same becomes greater than the pain of changing. Consequences give us the pain that motivates us to change.'

Dr. Henry Cloud & Dr. John Townsend

You are right. I wish I could truly change. Sadly I never will. I have reached my peak endurance limit years ago.

If I didn't suffer from this extremely weird neurological issues that I have, I would have been able to make something of my life.

 

[Meditation guide]

extremely weird neurological issues

Could it be MS. That presents all sorts of ways.

 

[Pharmaruined]

You are right. I wish I could truly change. Sadly I never will. I have reached my peak endurance limit years ago.

If I didn't suffer from this extremely weird neurological issues that I have, I would have been able to make something of my life.

Yea, I totally get it.. that quote doesn't take into consideration a chronic health issue

I'm still working on my endocrine system thanks to bad pharma..

Do u have an official diagnoses or any idea what caused it?

 

[Painless_end]

Yea, I totally get it.. that quote doesn't take into consideration a chronic health issue

I'm still working on my endocrine system thanks to bad pharma..

Do u have an official diagnoses or any idea what caused it?

Diagnosis have only been about symptoms : depression, anxiety. One psychiatrist diagnosed schizoid traits, again a symptom.

For me personally, it's a complete mechanical apathy towards personal growth, learning, or earning. It's not like I am lazy or don't want to do these things. I just have a mind that is not stimulated by taking on the personal responsibility necessary for growth.

I feel like I want to evade all major responsibilities of life.

 

[Pharmaruined]

					Diagnosis have only been about symptoms : depression, anxiety. One psychiatrist diagnosed schizoid traits, again a symptom. For me personally, it's a complete mechanical apathy towards personal growth, learning, or earning. It's not like I am lazy or don't want to do these things. I just have a mind that is not stimulated by taking on the personal responsibility necessary for growth. I feel like I want to evade all major responsibilities of life. Do u think there's some fear or confidence issue behind any of it? There is kind of a moment of truth where u can't bs yourself.. deep down theres a root, Do you have sexual desire /libido? If so then im guessing it is possible to have other things that stimulate you.. Not trying to offend you or call you out on anything btw..