Leaving

[fieryending]

Right now i'm living on my sister's couch in a new state. I don't know anyone here. I hate being a burden on her financially because she buys me food. I'm going to stop having her buy food for me if i stay. My guardian(our mom) called a few minutes ago and screamed at me for being ungrateful and spending all of my sister's money. My sister seemed like she didn't agree, but she was probably just being nice. I'm a burden on her, and that phone call just made me feel even worse. She said a lot of shit and exaggerated a shit ton but I feel like there was some truth to it. School was the only thing keeping me tethered down but now that that is gone, I don't see why I shouldn't run away. It will sure cause my sister and the rest of my family stress, but I already want to die. That is the lowest you can be. I'm thinking of running away soon, I am 18, I have my important documents and I can start my life on my own. I won't be spending my sister's money anymore and that will be good for her. I can probably learn street smarts too while I'm at it. I just don't see a reason to stay here any longer. I just fuck everything up. The best thing that could happen to me would be dying while sleeping on the streets. I'll be cold, hungry, and homeless but at least I won't be a burden. I'm basically throwing away my future at this point, but now I'm starting to doubt that I had one at all. Thoughts?