Leaving tonight

[Zanexx]

I'm currently eating my (hopefully) last meal -pasta followed by a vegan ice cream sundae- at a jazz bar above a little independent cinema near the location I picked.

Today I will start my BBQ probably around 11 o'clock UK time and hope to be dead by the early hours. Within a couple of days my family, friends and ex long-term partner will find out, as well as possibly my old best friend of 10 years if the message is able to get to her.

I know I haven't been an active member for that long, but this place has become a refuge of sorts for me in recent weeks, so for that I'm grateful. I feel like I've got to know people on here and formed a connection with you all, which is something I've very rarely felt with people.

Regarding logistics, I just have a few last minute questions I'd like answers to if possible:

1. Avoiding damage to others. I've already taken most steps I can to avoid other people being harmed by the CO and this is very hypothetical. I guess I'm just trying to fend off anxiety. I've read a few posts from people on here who failed the CO method because the headaches and whatever else got too much for them, causing them to leave the tent/vehicle. Just in case this happens to me (which I don't think it will because I am very, very committed to succeeding... but just in case) is there any chance of the CO leaving through the door when I exit and harming other people nearby (by nearby, I mean in tents that could be up to three metres away, although I'll try to get the most secluded area I can) and if this did happen should I open the tent up to air it/remove the BBQ or just leave it closed until the next day? Will the CO disappear eventually by then of its own accord?
2. I don't drink alcohol normally, but many people have suggested it helps as a sedative. If I do buy alcohol in the next few hours, what type should I buy and how much? I have valerian sleeping pills and co-codemol already (for any headaches)
3. Should I use firelighter cubes or newspaper pieces in my chimney starter - or does it not matter which I use? I have firelighters already and can get a newspaper if need be
4. I'm using a chimney starter with Weber briquettes. How long roughly should I have the briquettes in the chimney starter before dumping them in the BBQ bucket and then how long should I wait roughly before taking the BBQ inside? I don't want to take it inside when it's still smoking and flaming

Hopefully I'm overthinking all this. I'm really, really worried about something going wrong.

So basically, if I don't post for a week, the chances are I've been successful. If I am, I hope that all of have equal success when your time comes.

Wish me luck. It's been great getting to know you all.

 

[Tiburcio]

Good luck! We all wish you a swift travel.

 

[mattwitt]

Thanks for hanging out with us !

 

[Smilla]

I'm sorry I can't answer your questions about your method because I haven't researched it but I wish you happy travels tonight.

 

[VanHeineken]

May you find peace, my friend.

 

[akosineenee]

Best of luck! May you finally be at peace.

 

[Zanexx]

1 no it won't be a danger
the tent door open will mean CO turns to CO2 in minutes.
2 wine
3 cubes UNDER starter make much less smoke
4 have chimney 90% full to start. Maybe 40 to 60mins
once top ones are all grey.

Okay, will buy wine. And glad to hear about the first part. I didn't really understand your responses to the last two things.

What I was asking is should I use the cubes or pieces of newspaper? Whichever I use will be going in the lower part of the chimney starter with the charcoal in the top.

I also don't understand what you mean by 90% full. I was planning to put around two handfuls of briquettes in the chimney starter and then just transfer them to my BBQ bucket, which isn't very big, only about a foot by a foot but it's not like a have a huge gazebo.

40 to 60 minutes in the chimney starter or in the BBQ bucket?

 

[skyofAuroras]

I dont have any answers for your questions, but I wish you good luck, and I hope you find your peace.

 

[wanttodie]

Best of luck

 

[anna]

the best of luck, find your peace

 

[Ashpac]

I dont know much about his method because it never interested me but I hope you find peace.

 

[hunkirii]

good luck and hope you find peace

 

[skitliv]

Safe Travels

 

[LoverofDeath]

Good luck. I wish you peace and happiness.

 

[Mari]

I'm currently eating my (hopefully) last meal -pasta followed by a vegan ice cream sundae- at a jazz bar above a little independent cinema near the location I picked.

Jazz and veganism?
Sounds like someone I could vibe with..
As most here I don't have knowledge on this method, but I hope everything goes okay.

Best of luck and

<3 !

 

[RoloTomasi]

Hope you go through the night peacefully. I also intend to go with the charcoal method, goodluck!

 

[uxorious]

We haven't talked but I've heard you are a brave and honest person. I wish you well and hope it all works out the way you'd like it to.

 

[HannibalLector]

When desire for death exceeds intrinsic value of life, courage defines those who choose a quick and peaceful death in place of a slow and dreadful one.

 

[StarDust]

Hope you find your peace and all goes to plan.

 

[SamK]

Many blessings to you Zane. I'm sending you love and peace. That's about all i can do from here. Hugs.

 

[AntiLifeEric]

So basically, if I don't post for a week, the chances are I've been successful. If I am, I hope that all of have equal success when your time comes.

Wish me luck. It's been great getting to know you all.

Goodbye, Zanexx! Hope to see you soon!

 

[SamK]

Im crying my heart out here :-(

I did too......
There are no words.

 

[RoloTomasi]

I'm just hoping that everything goes as planned for her.

 

[RoloTomasi]

Why? I think you have to ask the moderators

 

[bbq1]

Ok, thankyou hun.

You've only just joined. Are you bored alreaady

 

[CRM]

If you succeeded, you won't read this, but I hope you find what you were looking for.

 

[BlackDragonof1989]

I'm sorry life brought you to this point, peace and comfort to you and your loved ones, no matter if this attempt is successful or not.

 

[Zanexx]

Update - bus is delayed, hopefully for only one night. Weather conditions making the BBQ very difficult. I'm absolutely soaked and shivering. I'm also worried about my tent. Maybe if I post a picture once it's light someone could advise me?

 

[Mari]

Sure

Maybe it¨s been mentioned before, but concerning the hole itht the velcro in your tent, you could patch it up from the inside. That way on one would see..?

How is everything going? I've been thinking of you!

And yes, post a picture, maybe someone might have a solution.

Hope you'll get warm again soon.

 

[Zanexx]

The tent is good, it's a compact 4-person with 3000 waterproof level. Once it was erected though I noticed some problems. I specifically asked for a sewn-in groundsheet hoping for better insulation. However this tent has two layers: an inner layer which is sort of see-through and doesn't seem to be 100% waterproof and an outer out which is clearly waterproof. The outer layer goes on top of the inner layer, but there are some gaps because it is only clipped on/pegged into the ground and not sealed to it.

If anyone has any experience with tents, hopefully you'll know what I mean.

So I've been racking my brains about how to rectify this problem. I had duct tape but I couldn't really duct tape half the tent. Last night I managed to get a picnic blanket and tried to duct tape it to the ceiling but it wouldn't hold, so I took the top layer off using a mini latern to see what I was doing and placed the picnic blanket over the inner layer, then put the outer shell back on. The picnic blanket wasn't large enough to cover the see-through area.

Today I went and bought a roll of large bin liners and once I get back to the tent I'm going to try and tape them to the ceiling. Do you guys think this will work?

If anyone here knows anything about tents, do you think I need to put bin liners over the inside of entire inner part of the tent (excluding the groundsheet) or just the see-through looking parts?

Really really could do with advice, I'm hoping I can leave tonight now and I want to get it right.

Also, as I said before, my chimney starter and BBQ are both small... how many Weber briquettes roughly should I use? Should I do them all in the chimney starter at once? Last night I put seven in the chimney starter but they're pretty large so that was three handfuls - I have small hands though.

Anyone who knows anything about camping or BBQs, please help! I've never used a BBQ before.