Discussion Leaving the comfort zone is impossible?

[neverLoved]

I truly believe one thing that I really should give a proper try is doing things which I normally wouldn't. This varies from person to person, but maybe for me it could help me get out of the constant boredom and possibly find a reason to keep living.

I currently sit all day at home, mostly bed rotting away. While I know I can't CTB now, the only thing I can do is maybe try recovery. I realize that I haven't experienced life to even make the decision to CTB, and that I probably first should give living an actual try.

Unfortunately sitting at home wont do anything for me. The chances of me waking up one day and seeing a difference are basically non existent this way. So I am fully aware that the only way is by actually getting out of the comfort of my bed. Although actually doing it seems like an impossible task. It sucks.

What is your experience? Does it seem practically impossible to do something you normally wouldn't? Have you deliberately tried getting out of your comfort zone?

Would love to hear others their experiences.

 

[Life_and_Death]

it takes little steps and "testing the water".
i wouldnt just jump all in. try something small.

 

[Mirrory Me]

Hey. It's really great that you are observing different options at this moment. You could for exsample move your bed near by window, or perhaps a working table- that may make you think more about proactiveness. I did it myself because I enjoy comfortable and nice scenery... There are some tools, ornaments, charms and art that I have kept for a long time- they reflect lots of light and hope, especially on sunny days. Btw, I'm currently reading a book that speculates: "The power of the mind to establish direct union with Reality may be produced by the reaction of a chemical called Serotonin on the pineal glad."

You could also spent time doing something that engages you progressively daily. Like: "I would like to learn... ". That could be something useful, or perhaps something what you are naturally good at (you know things they say about crafting diamonds- a perfect, or at least a colorful pieces). Be honest and realistic what you really wanna do, don't just do things that will earn you respect or so called "out side-validation".

 

[errorsinmypast]

I understand this, I've recently developed dread when leaving the house, please know you are not alone. I drove 50 mile round trip yesterday to go to B&Q cos I'd convinced myself that going to my local one would have some sort of trigger and make me feel anxious. It's crazy how this irrational thinking develops.

I wonder for you if you could perhaps build confidence by perhaps saying you'll walk around the block or to the shop, then each time extend the walk? When you get comfortable with that you could perhaps look to go into town and gradually build up your tolerance.

When you've gained confidence you could maybe look at some adult education courses, maybe even ones online initially and the interaction with a tutor will help you gain further confidence.

Hope you find something that helps as you want to make changes and recognising it means you're already half way there.

 

[Linda]

I truly believe one thing that I really should give a proper try is doing things which I normally wouldn't. This varies from person to person, but maybe for me it could help me get out of the constant boredom and possibly find a reason to keep living.

I currently sit all day at home, mostly bed rotting away. While I know I can't CTB now, the only thing I can do is maybe try recovery. I realize that I haven't experienced life to even make the decision to CTB, and that I probably first should give living an actual try.

Unfortunately sitting at home wont do anything for me. The chances of me waking up one day and seeing a difference are basically non existent this way. So I am fully aware that the only way is by actually getting out of the comfort of my bed. Although actually doing it seems like an impossible task. It sucks.

What is your experience? Does it seem practically impossible to do something you normally wouldn't? Have you deliberately tried getting out of your comfort zone?

Would love to hear others their experiences.

I have done several things that were way outside my comfort zone. Some proved to be very successful, and none was a complete disaster. (I don't want to give details because they would reveal too much about me and compromise my privacy.) So my advice is: Go for it. It may be scary, at least at first, but so what? You will get past that stage.
Note that getting outside your comfort zone does not mean being reckless. You should think before you act.

 

[neverLoved]

Hey. It's really great that you are observing different options at this moment. You could for exsample move your bed near by window, or perhaps a working table- that may make you think more about proactiveness. I did it myself because I enjoy comfortable and nice scenery... There are some tools, ornaments, charms and art that I have kept for a long time- they reflect lots of light and hope, especially on sunny days. Btw, I'm currently reading a book that speculates: "The power of the mind to establish direct union with Reality may be produced by the reaction of a chemical called Serotonin on the pineal glad."

You could also spent time doing something that engages you progressively daily. Like: "I would like to learn... ". That could be something useful, or perhaps something what you are naturally good at (you know things they say about crafting diamonds- a perfect, or at least a colorful pieces). Be honest and realistic what you really wanna do, don't just do things that will earn you respect or so called "out side-validation".

I am really not sure what I am good at, there is pretty much nothing. But learning something is probably a good idea, I had times where I really got obsessed trying to learn to play an instrument, learn a language or start a programming project. Unfortunately every time it just doesn't last long and I don't form any habits.

I get very harsh on myself whenever I can't do something.

I understand this, I've recently developed dread when leaving the house, please know you are not alone. I drove 50 mile round trip yesterday to go to B&Q cos I'd convinced myself that going to my local one would have some sort of trigger and make me feel anxious. It's crazy how this irrational thinking develops.

I wonder for you if you could perhaps build confidence by perhaps saying you'll walk around the block or to the shop, then each time extend the walk? When you get comfortable with that you could perhaps look to go into town and gradually build up your tolerance.

When you've gained confidence you could maybe look at some adult education courses, maybe even ones online initially and the interaction with a tutor will help you gain further confidence.

Hope you find something that helps as you want to make changes and recognising it means you're already half way there.

Good idea, although I will get bored very quickly just wandering around but it is worth just getting out and taking a walk.

I have been managing to stay somewhat consistent with going to the gym, started with me really finding it awkward where now I am just minding my own business and even sometimes talking with others. How much I hate to say it, I think I should appreciate that I managed to do this at least.

I have done several things that were way outside my comfort zone. Some proved to be very successful, and none was a complete disaster. (I don't want to give details because they would reveal too much about me and compromise my privacy.) So my advice is: Go for it. It may be scary, at least at first, but so what? You will get past that stage.
Note that getting outside your comfort zone does not mean being reckless. You should think before you act.

You are right, for example one thing which I really wanted is getting my motorcycle license. I wont do it for now because most likely I'll end up driving recklessly, endanger myself and possibly others.

It is this weird craving of doing something which is considered 'bad'. Been way too 'well behaved' most of my life, never caused any trouble where now I am craving things which I probably shouldn't do.

I know it is a very skewed way of thinking.

 

[Felodese]

I'm currently in therapy where "activation" is a big part, and that might be something that could help you. Or at least be worth looking at.
It's basically making a list of things that my might want to do/try and then rating how difficult it would be to do them. Then you can start with the easiest one to get going, and then gradually adding things from your list to your daily/weekly schedule.
I can't say it's worked wonders, but it's a start.

Could Behavioral Activation Help With Depression?

Could this form of therapy help you better handle depression, anxiety, or another mental health condition?

www.webmd.com

 

[Linda]

I am really not sure what I am good at, there is pretty much nothing. But learning something is probably a good idea, I had times where I really got obsessed trying to learn to play an instrument, learn a language or start a programming project. Unfortunately every time it just doesn't last long and I don't form any habits.

I get very harsh on myself whenever I can't do something.


Good idea, although I will get bored very quickly just wandering around but it is worth just getting out and taking a walk.

I have been managing to stay somewhat consistent with going to the gym, started with me really finding it awkward where now I am just minding my own business and even sometimes talking with others. How much I hate to say it, I think I should appreciate that I managed to do this at least.

You are right, for example one thing which I really wanted is getting my motorcycle license. I wont do it for now because most likely I'll end up driving recklessly, endanger myself and possibly others.

It is this weird craving of doing something which is considered 'bad'. Been way too 'well behaved' most of my life, never caused any trouble where now I am craving things which I probably shouldn't do.

I know it is a very skewed way of thinking.

"Been way too 'well behaved' most of my life, never caused any trouble where now I am craving things which I probably shouldn't do." You can be "not well behaved" without causing much trouble for anyone. I know!! I was young once. The traditional phrase for a man used to be "Wine, women and song". In my case it was more a matter of wine and boys. Whatever the phrase, I'm sure you have the imagination to add a few more possibilities to the list. Go do some of them. Just take care not to cause serious problems, for yourself or others.

 

[neverLoved]

I'm currently in therapy where "activation" is a big part, and that might be something that could help you. Or at least be worth looking at.
It's basically making a list of things that my might want to do/try and then rating how difficult it would be to do them. Then you can start with the easiest one to get going, and then gradually adding things from your list to your daily/weekly schedule.
I can't say it's worked wonders, but it's a start.

Could Behavioral Activation Help With Depression?

Could this form of therapy help you better handle depression, anxiety, or another mental health condition?

www.webmd.com

Thank you, will be taking a look at this. A list sounds like a great idea, not really a person who writes doen stuff but it's worth the try.

"Been way too 'well behaved' most of my life, never caused any trouble where now I am craving things which I probably shouldn't do." You can be "not well behaved" without causing much trouble for anyone. I know!! I was young once. The traditional phrase for a man use to be "Wine, women and song". In my case it was more a matter of wine and boys. Whatever the phrase, I'm sure you have the imagination to add a few more possibilities to the list. Go do some of them. Just take care not to cause serious problems, for yourself or others.

Appreciate the reply, gonna have to consciously and with intent start doing some stuff and try to keep it consistent. Although the consistency part is one of the hardest things to overcome, I give up very quickly and punish myself because of it. Probably shouldn't be too hard on myself.

It's funny how in these moments I get clarity and self awareness but in a hour I will fall in to autopilot and not even think about it. Hopefully it is something I can get better at.

 

[Linda]

Thank you, will be taking a look at this. A list sounds like a great idea, not really a person who writes doen stuff but it's worth the try.


Appreciate the reply, gonna have to consciously and with intent start doing some stuff and try to keep it consistent. Although the consistency part is one of the hardest things to overcome, I give up very quickly and punish myself because of it. Probably shouldn't be too hard on myself.

It's funny how in these moments I get clarity and self awareness but in a hour I will fall in to autopilot and not even think about it. Hopefully it is something I can get better at.

Good luck.