"Learned Helplessness"

[Thekla]

Probably the most bullshit phrase ever conjured. They're basically criticizing you for basic pattern recognition. I'm such a fucking low-IQ moron — I failed every single test no matter how hard I tried. My parents punished me by taking away the things I liked until I "got my grades up," but that wasn't possible! I wasn't smart enough! I studied for hours EVERY SINGLE DAY! NO PROGRESS! It's like zapping a dog for not walking correctly when both of its legs are broken, over and over again. Eventually, the dog will just sit there and take it, waiting to die.

"You just have learned helplessness!"

No, I'm just accurately assessing the situation! I'm genuinely fucking helpless!

 

[Knoc]

Smart people tend to extrapolate or project their innate skills onto others. They are often unaware of their unfair advantage and assume that people who cannot do the same things are just lazy, lack focus, or are simply making excuses. After all, it is so easy, right? Anyone with a brain can do it.

 

[Thekla]

Smart people tend to extrapolate or project their innate skills onto others. They are often unaware of their unfair advantage and assume that people who cannot do the same things are just lazy, lack focus, or are simply making excuses. After all, it is so easy, right? Anyone with a brain can do it.

IT'S SO FRUSTRATING!

My teachers were always like "you're just not trying, you deserve to fail", and I'm like NO I AM! I'm genuinely trying so hard! I'm trying harder than anyone else here! It's so fucking distressing that I was so dumb that people perceived me as not trying.

I want to cry just thinking about it...

 

[elkheart]

I heard this recently and it helped silence some of the anger around this bullshit "learned helplessness" and the way I experience it from the few people I still have in my life -
"When someone is drowning, that is not the time to teach them how to swim".
I don't understand why people are on their high horse thinking that I'm learning some sort of lesson or need to be beaten into learning something that simply isn't possible at the moment, realistic, or necessary. It's easier than THEM having to accommodate, understand, help. Yeah sure let's just call it "enabling" and me having a "negative mentality" when there's always been hungry sharks in the water lol

 

[777cave]

I definitely see your point.
I have watched a family member manipulate others into doing things for them by attempting something and not wanting to succeed, appear unable, so others will do things for them. They gain sympathy, pity and attention. That's how I've seen learned helplessness.
I know that's not what you're doing.

 

[8leveloquenfrn4evr8]

I think learned helplessness is real but it is obviously a concept that can be abused.