Last weeks before CTB

[1Mazda16]

I'm underemployed. No friends. Haven't showered in weeks--I smell. The house is a mess. Things get left undone. Depression. Negative thinking. Addiction. Mood swings. I lay around the house all day. It's a living hell.

What did I do wrong? Funny thing is I thought I made mostly good decisions. I was a "nice" guy. I was involved with the Church for many years. I worked for many years. I had friends. But things started to slowly unravel. 1 by 1 family members succumbed to addiction/old age, so I lost that support. Almost overnight, I lost my career. Friends were nowhere to be found. I entered the beginning of old age--health problems. Handling life's challenges became too much.

It seems CTB is the only relief in sight. I've decided on which method. The grim reaper has finally made his way to my domain. He has won the battle.

These last weeks are absolute hell...don't recommend it to anybody. Do your best to take care of yourselves people. Thanks to all. I think there are some good-hearted people on this website. Peace to all.

 

[PeacefulTonic]

I feel that. It's hard to even do simple things like taking a shower when depressed and suicidal. Every small and menial task seems insurmountable.

What's your method? Whatever you choose, I hope it's quick and as painless as possible, and you find peace

 

[1Mazda16]

I feel that. It's hard to even do simple things like taking a shower when depressed and suicidal. Every small and menial task seems insurmountable.

What's your method? Whatever you choose, I hope it's quick and as painless as possible, and you find peace

I'm hoping the SN works out. If not, then proceed to inert gas. I may have mislead with my opening. I am middle-aged--not a senior citizen...so yes, my life has been cut short. Mental illness sucks. SI has been very strong lately--definitely a formidable hurdle. Thanks for asking...kind of feels like someone cares.

 

[PeacefulTonic]

I'm hoping the SN works out. If not, then proceed to inert gas. I may have mislead with my opening. I am middle-aged--not a senior citizen...so yes, my life has been cut short. Mental illness sucks. SI has been very strong lately--definitely a formidable hurdle. Thanks for asking...kind of feels like someone cares.

Sorry that you're going through this and you ended up here.

SN has a pretty high success rate, and it'll be more comfortable if you follow the regimen(stan's guide). It's pretty much guaranteed if you have a second glass prepared. SI is definitely hard to get over though

 

[1Mazda16]

In your same boat, middle aged, but with kids. If I didn't have them, I would have done this—RIGHT—months ago.

Every day hurts. 43 more to go.

Sorry for the pain you're going through. I'm here for support if you want it. I hope you find peace. Best of luck to you.

 

[FuneralCry]

Living is very painful. I understand it is hard to carry on when everything is hopeless. I wish you the best, I hope you find peace and freedom from suffering.