I want to be medicated so badly to try and numb myself so I can keep living for the people around me but its so hard to have the will to talk to a professional about this. The options for psychiatry in my area are slim to none which makes it even harder, I was on Lexapro for years and I wish I never stopped. I need to be numbed if I cant just ctb.
I use telehealth for my medications super helpful since the psychiatry options here are also awful
It makes things seem different/better but they're still the same. Hopefully you don't get the rash.
I've been on it for almost a year and 200mg for 4 months alone no signs of a rash. Obviously not for everyone but it's working for me
I'm on Lamictal too! It is absolutely a lifesaver.
I told myself I'd give meds a try and if they won't work I'll CTB- luckily they really helped.
Yeah right before I started it I had to cold turkey Abilify because I was having worsening thoughts of suicide and self harm (my brain physically hurt the best way to describe it) and I started Lamictal basically the next day and I've been on it since. Though it doesn't stop me from being manic when "the time comes" for an episode but it definitely keeps me safe from doing harmful things when manic… unless you count spending my whole paycheck in 5 minutes
I tried it about a year ago. I weaned myself off (baby dose anyway) then had another manic phase. But I suppose the shroom trip had something to do with that. But I had already decided to "find God" again. Oh man, what a brain I have. Glad Lamictal is working for you, anyway.
Lamictal doesn't completely eliminate manic episodes just sorta keeps them from being as severe and as frequently just in my experience. I am/was a rapid cycler I'm talking maybe a month in between an episode. I've only had a manic episode once since being on it and it was just staying up until like 6am and cleaning like I am trying to hide a crime scene.
This is interesting to hear. I've always heard many people having good experiences with lamictal/lamotrigine. I myself was on it for 1.5 years, but only at 100mg as I experienced insomnia at 150mg... I honestly did not notice much difference myself while on it. It may have slightly lengthened the time to mood episodes (increased the period I had stable mood for), but ultimately did not treat acute episodes well at all and did not prevent the intensity of them either. Overall was pretty disappointed with it but did appreciate having no side effects and the slightly lengthened time of stability.
I wonder what sort of symptoms/episodes you generally experience if it's okay to ask? Maybe it's just more effective for some than others... I've already lost hope for treatment but was curious. Thanks for posting/sharing your experience though
Yeah totally understandable everyone is different and I don't mind sharing my typical experiences when I manic or have an episode with BPD. I will be the first to admit I am completely and entirely miserable to even be around when I'm unmedicated. I was constantly attacking people within my friend group and the people I was room mates with and every single thing they did ticked me off and pushed me past the breaking point. Now with medication im like "meh" but not in a idc fuck them way but just idc let em be. I moved out to help with that and avoiding triggers but I would drink and smoke/consume large amounts of THC to the point I was everyone's problem but atleast I didn't remember. I was constantly mutilating myself. No sleep schedule or schedule at all which intensified EVERYTHING. Almost flunked out of college and now I'm a 4.0 student which feels odd and typically I'd have the urge to just self sabotage my achievements by blowing up again. I was constantly sleeping with different people and ended up catching a std and as a precaution was put on Prep to keep me at least a little bit safer. My sex drive is still there but I'm definitely not using sex as a coping mechanism now and I'm not engaging in risky sexual activity. And I tried to make my absolute best friend abandon me but attacking him even though he welcomed me into his home for a week when I was severely suicidal and couldn't bring myself to admit myself. I'm honestly not a "new" person I'm just reverting back to the person I was before my mental health started to decline to the point I was. It's strange I'm probably about 70% of the person I used to be and I could be happy with that. Long story short I was miserable and now I'm tolerable. I'll take it.
This is interesting to hear. I've always heard many people having good experiences with lamictal/lamotrigine. I myself was on it for 1.5 years, but only at 100mg as I experienced insomnia at 150mg... I honestly did not notice much difference myself while on it. It may have slightly lengthened the time to mood episodes (increased the period I had stable mood for), but ultimately did not treat acute episodes well at all and did not prevent the intensity of them either. Overall was pretty disappointed with it but did appreciate having no side effects and the slightly lengthened time of stability.
I wonder what sort of symptoms/episodes you generally experience if it's okay to ask? Maybe it's just more effective for some than others... I've already lost hope for treatment but was curious. Thanks for posting/sharing your experience though
Also did your prescriber try to give you something for insomnia. Mine gave me remeron (I think that's the right spelling) because of just having an episode to help me sleep to lessen the intensity of my episodes from lack of sleep.
). My mood is definitely more stable but it's very stable depressed. At least my last mixed episode only lasted about 36 hours instead of a week, so progress?
