Lack of Emotional Safety

[Water-Lily]

Following my recent mental break down and distance from people as a result, I'm realizing I dont owe anyone anything. Friends, family, etc

I don't owe anyone an explanation into my feelings/mental health even if they might want to understand

Growing up I was never prioritized in a healthy way by the adults around me, and I am getting better at verbalizing my feelings

Earlier my grandma called trying to guilt me over not responding to her calls yesterday. I didn't give in, apologize, or coddle. She keeps the family on a tight rope as she has no one she talks to outside of us and I refuse to be controlled. She then reminded me to "forgive" my brother and I told her I refuse to forgive someone who abused me. I ended the conversation quicly

My aunt then called shortly after just inquiring about how I am feeling with my fathers health. I managed to speed through that conversation. I also find that when she tried to be funny or laugh I find it irritating when I am not in a good mood. But I make sure to end the conversation as quickly as possible

And then a friend reached out saying I could vent to them. So I told them id rather be alone for right now but I appreciate the sentiment

I have my reasons for feeling unsafe and vulnerable and I'm not going to just open up to any and anyone when I just dont feel like it

People earn trust, and even when they do, I still have the choice on what I do with my pain

 

[The anhedonic one]

Yes, mental illness is deeply personal and even if you did confide in people they would never truly understand because to truly understand mental illness you have to have actually experienced and lived through it yourself.
Plus people are so annoying with their empty platitudes.
I've usually found it best to just stay quiet and suffer in silence.

 

[Water-Lily]

Yes, mental illness is deeply personal and even if you did confide in people they would never truly understand because to truly understand mental illness you have to have actually experienced and lived through it yourself.
Plus people are so annoying with their empty platitudes.
I've usually found it best to just stay quiet and suffer in silence.

I dont agree with that entirely. suffering alone is terrifying. I think its important to be open to talking to someone, even if not now

 

[RasinBoxECT]

I dont agree with that entirely. suffering alone is terrifying. I think its important to be open to talking to someone, even if not now

As someone who suffered alone in silence for years I can confirm that being open to talking with someone eventually is good. It's ok if you can't do it now, but it's good to get some outside input eventually.

 

[Water-Lily]

As someone who suffered alone in silence for years I can confirm that being open to talking with someone eventually is good. It's ok if you can't do it now, but it's good to get some outside input eventually.

just has to be at your pace and with someone who has earned your trust. and that can take years

the reality is that there are many wolves in sheep clothing. narcissists, abusers, and just terrible people lurking about. If a person has no friends/no trust, its likely they've been burned to that level

 

[Remeer]

I think it's good that you go at your own pace and put limits on that, it's a way to protect yourself and love yourself
What if it doesn't seem right to me is that you don't communicate with those you live with at least one indication that it happens, it's enough to say "I'm fine" or "I'm bad" it would be enough, because we affect an environment and the environment in turn it affects us
Sure, I'm out of context and it's just a general idea
Regarding forgiveness, it's an excellent idea, but not from the point in which they told him (I interpreted it as an apology) but from the beginning of overcoming what happened, beginning to heal oneself, at least that's how I see forgiveness, Forgiveness is for oneself, not for the other, nor does it mean forgetting and allowing the abuse to be repeated

I really would like you to improve, but at your own pace, rushing things often only slows you down or goes back

greetings, be well

 

[Water-Lily]

I think it's good that you go at your own pace and put limits on that, it's a way to protect yourself and love yourself
What if it doesn't seem right to me is that you don't communicate with those you live with at least one indication that it happens, it's enough to say "I'm fine" or "I'm bad" it would be enough, because we affect an environment and the environment in turn it affects us
Sure, I'm out of context and it's just a general idea
Regarding forgiveness, it's an excellent idea, but not from the point in which they told him (I interpreted it as an apology) but from the beginning of overcoming what happened, beginning to heal oneself, at least that's how I see forgiveness, Forgiveness is for oneself, not for the other, nor does it mean forgetting and allowing the abuse to be repeated

I really would like you to improve, but at your own pace, rushing things often only slows you down or goes back

greetings, be well

I dont feel safe with my family, but I do hear what you're saying about giving an indication. I suppose I could work on being more open to communication and reciprocal