Killing your old self

[joshe]

This seems like the one thing that will get me out of this

Look, i don't want to have to do this, but i feel like this is what has been in the works for a long time

Maybe if i can kill the person i was, completely and utterly, then i could remove the desire to end my life

 

[Deleted member 14573]

I understand the desire to kill the person you were and start a completely new life with a new identity.

You can always have a fresh start, but your experiences will always be there with you. No matter how terrible they were, they made you the person you are today, and your scars are a testament to your strength.

You decide to take control of your life and set it on a new course, while coming to peace with the past and 'severing' the bonds that won't let you move forward. Of course, this is a journey in itself, which I am on as well.

I also want to add that trauma specifically is not something that you simply 'move on' from, and takes a lot of strength, support and guidance to navigate through.

I wish you all the best on your journey

 

[Mr2005]

This seems like the one thing that will get me out of this

Look, i don't want to have to do this, but i feel like this is what has been in the works for a long time

Maybe if i can kill the person i was, completely and utterly, then i could remove the desire to end my life

This will no doubt anger some people but I feel this is what changing gender is really all about

 

[joshe]

This will no doubt anger some people but I feel this is what changing gender is really all about

The surveys have shown a significant correlation between dysmorphia and suicidal ideation

I understand the desire to kill the person you were and start a completely new life with a new identity.

You can always have a fresh start, but your experiences will always be there with you. No matter how terrible they were, they made you the person you are today,

I also want to add that trauma specifically is not something that you simply 'move on' from, and takes a lot of strength, support and guidance to navigate through.

You are so right with this words. I can bet wisdom of this nature can only come from experience..

My traumas do follow me. I have tried to reinvent myself several times, but after so many failures, you end up resorted back to your previous life out of a need for security. Same reason why most people never change. Change is hard. Being who they are is the easiest option.

I have tried to kill my old self again and again, but maybe i was being to soft about it.

Maybe i need to be more serious about it.

 

[dibbydoo]

Hi joshe
I can totally relate to this, and there definitely is something to it, but yes your trauma has shaped you too.

I'm starting 40 days of Prayer & Fasting soon as my last shot at killing the 'old self' - the 'flesh' is where all the problems reside, your spirit is pure & so much stronger than this world wants you to believe

Have you tried fasting before?

God Bless

 

[joshe]

Yes, i was actually going to bring up the desert fathers as a good example of those you went to the extreme to obliterate self identification.

Some would call it a suicide-missons, others, a spiritual calling

I try to fast once a week and it helps in a certain way, makes me grateful and humbles me in the face of a collective pain that billions go through every day.

If i were to do my own 40 days, i very likely would not return, so i need to be careful about it

Thank you for your post though