Killing myself in the next 8 months to 3 years

[Braindead Atheist]

I bought 1000mg of dnp yesterday and it should be here in a a few days to a week. I'm going to take some for weight loss and use the rest to kill myself. My plan is to see how weight loss and my graphic design career go first and then when it screws up I'm going to end things. I don't have to worry about hurting people or my friends because everyone eventually ditches me anyways. I'll say good bye to the ones who deserve it.

 

[stilldreaming]

I'd never heard of dnp, just did a quick google, first article says it's a dangerous diet drug, and starts by talking about a bulimic who died of it.

Now I am really not an expert but I think I heard years ago serious bulimics can die / od more easily? And, aside from that, it can be a bit tricky to purposefully die from pills, hence all the info here about anti-emetics and such.

Perhaps someone more knowledgeable can chime in, but yeah. I totally get the 'when it screws up I'm going to end things' :( Been there done that, might have one last project I could do buuuuut......why bother, it won't work.

Hope you can do something kind for yourself soon x

 

[FTL.Wanderer]

My plan is to see how weight loss and my graphic design career go first and then when it screws up I'm going to end things.

Do you mind me asking what your career going "well" would mean for you? I'm sorry things have been so painful for you. Sort of like you, I don't have anyone to say "bye" to, either. Makes planning a lot easier for me. I had a talk tonight with a colleague about addiction. They said they were able to overcome smoking because they had people in their life who love them (people they eventually married). Just goes to show how powerful connections with others can be. So I hope you find a fulfilling connection as well as career.

 

[Disco Biscuit]

I was trying to remember where I'd first heard about DNP and then I remembered! It was in this Near Death Experience interview (my favourite subject). Have a listen.

 

[FuneralCry]

I'm sorry you are suffering. People can be so disappointing, I also only plan to say goodbye to those that deserve it. If your decision is to leave, then I hope you find the peace you are looking for.

 

[FTL.Wanderer]

I was trying to remember where I'd first heard about DNP and then I remembered! It was in this Near Death Experience interview (my favourite subject). Have a listen.

Haven't listened yet, but the title of that video had me laughing from deep in my gut. Thank you for that. :)

 

[Braindead Atheist]

I was trying to remember where I'd first heard about DNP and then I remembered! It was in this Near Death Experience interview (my favourite subject). Have a listen.

he never had an nde. he was just in the hospital

 

[tiredplant777]

I was trying to remember where I'd first heard about DNP and then I remembered! It was in this Near Death Experience interview (my favourite subject). Have a listen.

my favourite subject too! I will check this out.

 

[Braindead Atheist]

Do you mind me asking what your career going "well" would mean for you? I'm sorry things have been so painful for you. Sort of like you, I don't have anyone to say "bye" to, either. Makes planning a lot easier for me. I had a talk tonight with a colleague about addiction. They said they were able to overcome smoking because they had people in their life who love them (people they eventually married). Just goes to show how powerful connections with others can be. So I hope you find a fulfilling connection as well as career.

by career going well i mean i get a job that I like and am good at and pays well. but i mean...yeah right. that will never happen

 

[FTL.Wanderer]

by career going well i mean i get a job that I like and am good at and pays well. but i mean...yeah right. that will never happen

Thanks for sharing. I agree--those are very important to quality of life. We endure years and years of training so we can afford even a modest life, have some security in the face of uncertainty (medical, financial...), and enjoy the time we're living (like what you do). I don't get how so many very poor laborers just push on decade after decade while their bodies are broken from the years of grueling labor. They're unhappy and in pain and financially insecure. But they're still around. I think that's one reason the people who control the world don't care that so many hundreds of millions are living unstable lives. Because they keep doing it and making more people to continue the cycle.

Sorry for babbling. But I do agree with you. Without those conditions you mentioned, I also wouldn't find life worth it. And you haven't even mentioned another dream of many people--finding others like a community, family, partners... to reciprocate love with. But we're "crazy" for not wanting to stick around. :(