I originally planned to kill myself before the new year. However, that didn't happen.
I decided to go to the doctor (who was genuinely very nice, but could not help since he is simply a GP). I was referred to the emergency psychiatric hospital, and was sat in an office across from 2 guys asking for every detail of my life. It didn't seemed like they cared, it's just their job. The whole thing was an evaluation of whether to admit me or not to this crazy place. They then decided I'll be fine to go, and throw me another referal in 1 weeks time to another clinic. I waited, and went. I was met by a different 2 guys who sat me in an office and it was the most tense, uncomfortable situation. They didn't care. The other guys did not forward on a single word I told them, and I had to recite myself again, terribly. I was offered no help yet again, and they setup another apointment in 2 weeks time with some other guy. I had enough, and did not show up to the apointment. Whilst chilling on my bed, my apartment bell starts ringing and I check the camera, it's one of the fucking doctors with the angriest looking faces on. I acted not home until he left. I never went back.
I had a random idea that I would start going to the gym and try to become better looking. I went a few times, I had no idea what I was doing. So, I decided, I'll get a personal trainer. Met one - she was a bitch just trying to take my money. Then, I met another one. This guy turned out to be one of the nicest people I've ever met in my life. I feel completely 0 judgement coming from him (I have no idea how to do gym stuff). But this guy has worked out that my life is a mess and I'm clearly depressed (of course I never mentioned this). I mean, it's not hard to work out when someone tells you they lay at home in bed all day, binging uber eats, and visibly an awkward person. But, most people will dismiss it. He frequently says stuff like "this is more importantly about being happy, none of the other stuff really matters". He frequently tries to just hint at this kind of stuff so I say something, but I'm a rock that won't crack. At all of our last sessions before the weekend, he is like "the weekend is coming up. lets think what you can do" and provides suggestions. This guy just genuinely tries his best to help (keep in note he was told nothing by me). It makes me so fucking sad, as much as I wish he could help me. He can't, and I'm going to be dead soon. I'm currently living alone abroad, and this is the first genuine person I've met in my 6 months here. He is also the only person I routinely interact with socially. However, I lost 99% of my networth before christmas. I'm about to be kicked out of my apartment, and I soon can't afford to go to the trainer.
I don't know what the point of this thread was. I don't have any one to talk to
I decided to go to the doctor (who was genuinely very nice, but could not help since he is simply a GP). I was referred to the emergency psychiatric hospital, and was sat in an office across from 2 guys asking for every detail of my life. It didn't seemed like they cared, it's just their job. The whole thing was an evaluation of whether to admit me or not to this crazy place. They then decided I'll be fine to go, and throw me another referal in 1 weeks time to another clinic. I waited, and went. I was met by a different 2 guys who sat me in an office and it was the most tense, uncomfortable situation. They didn't care. The other guys did not forward on a single word I told them, and I had to recite myself again, terribly. I was offered no help yet again, and they setup another apointment in 2 weeks time with some other guy. I had enough, and did not show up to the apointment. Whilst chilling on my bed, my apartment bell starts ringing and I check the camera, it's one of the fucking doctors with the angriest looking faces on. I acted not home until he left. I never went back.
I had a random idea that I would start going to the gym and try to become better looking. I went a few times, I had no idea what I was doing. So, I decided, I'll get a personal trainer. Met one - she was a bitch just trying to take my money. Then, I met another one. This guy turned out to be one of the nicest people I've ever met in my life. I feel completely 0 judgement coming from him (I have no idea how to do gym stuff). But this guy has worked out that my life is a mess and I'm clearly depressed (of course I never mentioned this). I mean, it's not hard to work out when someone tells you they lay at home in bed all day, binging uber eats, and visibly an awkward person. But, most people will dismiss it. He frequently says stuff like "this is more importantly about being happy, none of the other stuff really matters". He frequently tries to just hint at this kind of stuff so I say something, but I'm a rock that won't crack. At all of our last sessions before the weekend, he is like "the weekend is coming up. lets think what you can do" and provides suggestions. This guy just genuinely tries his best to help (keep in note he was told nothing by me). It makes me so fucking sad, as much as I wish he could help me. He can't, and I'm going to be dead soon. I'm currently living alone abroad, and this is the first genuine person I've met in my 6 months here. He is also the only person I routinely interact with socially. However, I lost 99% of my networth before christmas. I'm about to be kicked out of my apartment, and I soon can't afford to go to the trainer.
I don't know what the point of this thread was. I don't have any one to talk to
