Just had an epiphany--hope this helps if you're trying to recover

[etherealgoddess]

I definitely tend to "relapse" as in just breaking all my habits and hyperfocusing on some new hobby I'm into to distract myself from my responsibilities. But I've realized that my issue behind it all was actually having shame about being engrossed in something that isn't inherently useful in being successful, so I'd hyperfocus to distract from the shame. Since I've realized that I don't have to have shame about being interested in things that are not inherently "beneficial" in a financial way, I can feel the urges to want to hyperfocus into something and forget about everything is 10x weaker. It's the shame that makes you do things like this. I'm not joking. My desire to play games and forget everything is gone. I feel like this relaxed buddha guy who wants to take care of myself now lol. LOVE IS HEALING, HATE IS REVERSED HEALING (even hating hating).

This is a major epiphany for me. I'm making progress in recovery. Hell to the fuck yeah

 

[Suicidebydeath]

I'm glad you made this epiphany! Sometimes the shame comes from other people's judgement, it's good to have the confidence to know that it doesn't matter what other people think of your hobbies, at the end of the day, they're just ignorant!

Think about how people said nothing would come of gaming in the 80s and 90s, and now people are self-made millionaires through gaming/streaming, and there's a billion dollar industry around it.

At the end of the day you should do what makes you happy, if it's not hurting anybody else!

 

[LaughingGoat]

This is great insight and a perfect example of why regular self-reflection is so important in recovery and life, it's developing control over your thoughts and feelings through awareness.