Hello everyone
I have a hard time making up my mind but next Wednesday I'd go to an open psychiatry station for treating a burnout/depression. The thing is that I've lost all will to live because of having continually worsening tinnitus and hyperacusis, and there's no solution to that problem (not in the next couple years). I've burned out of hope that I'll be able to live through the next years for a potential cure without another worsening finally pushing me over the edge. I've had these problems for 16 months now and despite best protection I have managed to have two major worsenings, so I am extremely pessimistic to go for so long without yet another worsening (and it's already annoying now). There's also other reasons that make me wanna ctb (wrong job, loneliness, fear that even if I get a cure I'll be too fucked up by then and depression caused by all aforementioned problems). So I kinda have in mind to go for an attempt on Tuesday, maybe not, maybe just checking out. See whether I am ready or not. Part of me is very decided, part of me not yet.
Anyway, I could use an assessment whether my jumping spot would be good enough.
The fall is about 500m, but unfortunately it's not as steep as a skyscraper where you hit the ground only once (at the end). Also the end of the fall is sloped, so that's certainly less great.
Opinions?
I have a hard time making up my mind but next Wednesday I'd go to an open psychiatry station for treating a burnout/depression. The thing is that I've lost all will to live because of having continually worsening tinnitus and hyperacusis, and there's no solution to that problem (not in the next couple years). I've burned out of hope that I'll be able to live through the next years for a potential cure without another worsening finally pushing me over the edge. I've had these problems for 16 months now and despite best protection I have managed to have two major worsenings, so I am extremely pessimistic to go for so long without yet another worsening (and it's already annoying now). There's also other reasons that make me wanna ctb (wrong job, loneliness, fear that even if I get a cure I'll be too fucked up by then and depression caused by all aforementioned problems). So I kinda have in mind to go for an attempt on Tuesday, maybe not, maybe just checking out. See whether I am ready or not. Part of me is very decided, part of me not yet.
Anyway, I could use an assessment whether my jumping spot would be good enough.
The fall is about 500m, but unfortunately it's not as steep as a skyscraper where you hit the ground only once (at the end). Also the end of the fall is sloped, so that's certainly less great.
Opinions?
