Jumping from a parking garage - mental block

[bloodfallsfirst]

I am quite a coward.

To ctb from the parking garage, I have to get out of bed (hard enough), bus it over after a drink, nerve myself to go up to the 10th floor or so, then force myself to leap over. Luckily, I do go to trivia regularly near the garage, so maybe that issue is resolved, but I'm frustrated.

Does anyone have any tips on how to overcome all those little mental blocks popping up? It feels like each of the above steps is taking courage that I don't have. The SI instinct is horrible, I can't afford another hospitalization (three this year!) let alone missing work, and I really don't want to get caught staring. And there's the fear of hitting a person underneath.

Please help! Fuck SI!

 

[houseofleaves]

nerve myself to go up to the 10th floor or so, then force myself to leap over.

Only 10th floor? Are you sure you will die?

 

[bloodfallsfirst]

Only 10th floor? Are you sure you will die?

That's also another uncertainty, which is why I'm leaning more toward SN. I can PM the parking garage, if you want. I'd figure that high should be fine, but am doubting every step of my way.

 

[houseofleaves]

That's also another uncertainty, which is why I'm leaning more toward SN. I can PM the parking garage, if you want. I'd figure that high should be fine, but am doubting every step of my way.

Choose SN! Failed jump from height can leave you crippled for life. But if you fail with SN, there will be almost no consequences!

 

[FuneralCry]

To me jumping sounds like a terrifying way to leave this world, I know that I could never be able to ctb that way. I feel like that many people are able to overcome the SI when they are completely desperate and the pain of living gets to be unbearable. Suicide really is so difficult and if it was easier to leave, I would already be gone. I'm sorry for all the suffering that has brought you to this point, the fact that you are still here does not mean that you are a coward. I wish you the best in whatever you decide to do.

 

[Chiisai]

Please reconsider. That method from that height is not a guaranteed success. Take your time to research or ask from this forum for better and peaceful methods.