Venting jesus fuck i'm exhausted

[notsosillybilly]

sorry for the lack of posts, too much has been happening for the past couple weeks. i don't really feel like going into heavy detail rn because i'm very tired and overall it's just alot, but it feels like everytime i'm close to getting my life together, i keep going back to my destructive habits. i've been getting high almost everyday so my addiction is getting worse, but i physically can't get myself to stop. i'm tired of working, i'm tired of being around people, i'm tired of getting up early everyday I WANNA GIVE UP. WHY CAN'T EVERYONE IN MY LIFE JUST GIVE UP ON ME SO I DONT HAVE A REASON TO STAY ALIVE. i'm nothing but a failure i ruined so many relationships with people and i haven't got shit accomplished with finding housing. i just wanna lay down and smoke my life away