Jealously

[Irishsteve88]

Does anyone else feel the same when they hear of others who successfully ended their life?

All year I've attended funerals of people who ended their lives and I some what get jealous and I say things in my head like how can he/she do it and how they done it and I can't and how are my making mistakes for the past 15 years.

I feel like I'm being mean or rude by it and I do apologize to them (RIP) and too others on here XX

 

[Superdeterminist]

Yes definitely, I wish I could succeed as they have done. It's not a hate or dislike, it's just a kind of frustration that they've moved on and I'm still stuck here.

 

[Dreamless Sleep]

I think its natural for those of us who want to ctb to be jealous towards those who were able to successfully do it. I'm envious of people who are at a point in their life where they are free to make this decision.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

Sometimes I can get pretty enraged by the mere sight of a couple. They don't even have to look happy but just seeing them together makes me angry that for now they have something I never will. Even if I've accepted it will never happen for me, I can't help getting jealous of other people's happiness regardless.

 

[Irishsteve88]

I really taught and think I was being selfish when others succeed CBT least I'm not alone on this one great replies guys

 

[IsThisTheEnd?]

I have an almost jealous feeling and guilt when people better than me ctb.

 

[BPD Barbie]

It's a mixed bag of jealously and sadness. It's never nice when someone passes over but there is a sense of relief also that their pain is no more. I just wish that it was me instead.

 

[Infinite Conscious]

Yes definitely, I wish I could succeed as they have done. It's not a hate or dislike, it's just a kind of frustration that they've moved on and I'm still stuck here.

This.

While "normal" people feel sorry for them, I envy and idolize them.

So Irishsarah, you are not the only one, it's a widespread feeling among the rest of us with the lack of fearlessness/bravery/courage.

 

[greekyfish10]

yes i do feel jealous because they were able to escape pain yet i'm still here and i'm too much of a coward to actually go through with anything. but at the same time i do feel happy for them because they are no longer feeling pain. i don't know. i know jealousy is an ugly trait but i feel it a lot.