Venting Jealous of everyone

[BaconCheeseburger]

The need to CTB comes and goes for me. I'm envious of you guys who are strong willed and organised about it. I get myself mentally ready and then the feeling goes so I'm left feeling like a twat because I'm making such a fuss over 'nothing'.

I want to get back into cutting myself because I need a release. Something to tide me over whilst life drags on.

 

[QueenEtna]

You dont "need" to ctb just do it when you're ready to, or never. I'm never gonna do it myself.

 

[Over n' Out]

I wouldn't start cutting yourself, that's another stop start action so won't permanently drive you to suicide.
I'm lucky after years of tennis I've got mild but annoying arthritis in my legs and get gout at lesst once a year.
A normal person would be upset with the daily mild pain and half a mile walking range but I'm not upset. It's a sign I'm damaged so adds more desire not to live.
You should try getting something similar, it's a real motivator.

 

[Jaguar]

Do u want to die?

 

[BaconCheeseburger]

Do u want to die?

I do, and then I don't for a week or two, and then I do again. I feel so frustrated by the constant change.

 

[Jaguar]

I do, and then I don't for a week or two, and then I do again. I feel so frustrated by the constant change.

When you have more days that you want to die than don't, that's your signal to move forward.