i've given up on everything.

[ornitier199]

i've deleted everything
removed everything. factually: my existence is a pointless as this thread.

 

[FuneralCry]

I see my existence as being very pointless as well. To me, life is just suffering for the sake of it. I'm sorry that it has come to this point for you.

 

[Winterreise]

What happened?

 

[Cherry Crumpet]

Are you there? Can you talk about it with us?

 

[ornitier199]

Are you there? Can you talk about it with us?

a. Him. (no its not ryan, it's that other one).

b. I won't suffer the horror of seeing FK and all the work thats gone into be ripped away from me. i've been working to the point of completely exhaustion, i cannot self fund FK myself, when the two jobs i work keep my living this far, and all the other bills, there's no room to save—nevermind pay someone else's living wage, (i.e. hiring on dev team).
that email i mentioned in one of my other threads. I was profiled after the proceeding phone call—caused me to lose the funding for parts of FK.

i've been under so much stress from the work but even to them, of course i never showed it, but it is wearing me out. working so all day, with barely any time to sleep but work, and the little free time left to do FK, and cannot save because other bills eat up my wage.
i cannot get a loan, nevermind a business loan, this is because of the lack of revenue from the business, even small business refuse. it's sad, but also, there's profiling, which is why i try and abstain from any communication outside of email, but so much as a phone call, and it's over.

There was times where i would neglected my primary bills to use that to FK, which was the only reprieve, but it cannot be done, clearly, all the time. And it certainly elevated FK more than ever. I had to temporarily take Mania Carta and a few others (specific assets) for this reason.

To remedy some, I've taught myself to do other aspects of FK's development.
I am an event programmer, (i.e. the programmer who scripts all the actions that occur in the game from the story). but I'd find myself doing parts of the pixel art, this includes setup, touch ups, frame fixes and conversion to game-ready assets. In one of my older posts I mentioned that FK does not use Unreal or Unity, instead it's own engine compiled in C++; with the event is composed in C-Syntax. Even with this, my capacity is capped at that, no more.

FK has grown very large, Mania remarks—in a good way, I have it well managed, I'm not on any time constraints, primarily because it's been self funded this whole time, gradually increasing a bit by bit since it started, and I abstain from cutting content that is already present, which is a lot.
FPC and BTL assets in FK are done. UFPC, which are assets for advance features are not done. UFPC are more detailed version of the FPC sprite assets, following the BTL style. Originally my profile banner showed two BTL assets on the logo. The logo on my profile banner was designed by Mania Carta for the localized version.

Speaking of localization, one of the more taxing parts of FK that I had been working on was the language; and I don't mean general localized language, but the language featured in the game's world. In one of my older threads, I mentioned previously who FK features a large, diverse PC cast, this was elevated when I introduced the language system.

This language system was created from scratch and was inspired by an existing language. In game, it is quite complex, as it is part of some character's natural dialog. I've on the reserve a place to put extra info on this language, of how things are structured. This language is also part of many optional dungeons, and in others, are required.

There are currently two main languages in FK. The language in FK takes a lot of attention to detail when implemented as its not as simple as writing it in the language, but also down to dialect, pronunciation, tone, etc. Because FK is localized, the corresponding localization also has to accommodate this in their respective languages.

Aside from this section in FK development, the other big section is the development system and the (I'm just going to abbreviated for now) 'OD/LB' system, which is complex in its self. By complex, I mean in its general code, rather it's actual functions.—it is centralized and divided amongst each individual character.

That is more a sub section compared to the BTL system, I'm glad it was the first done, since its sets the general foundation. I'll keep it brief, because I would go on for days explaining the intricate workings. But in short FK uses RTB (Real-Time Turn Based). As common as it may sound, it's functionality is different in many aspects.

Nevertheless, the general concept is there. RTB, as it name applies shows there's real time factor to the general turn based concept which affects the flow of battle, actions and action-queue.

This is the first time I have ever spoke about FK in such detail to anyone outside, I probably went on a massive tangent.

there's alot of pain, stress and that has reached my pain tolerance. And there's a lot more that to it that i didn't mention those are deep rooted pains that so much as talking about them makes me ache, i cant.

do i feel like i'm leaving something behind?

Yes. But its to keep me from a lifetime of suffering—like a terminal illness in its own rite. If you dont understand, i'm sorry, but i do.

My scars run deep, even in death.
-Ornitier Tribal, FK: Advent Crisis