It's my first time to get a job and I'm anxious .

[ineverlived]

My father got me a job through an acquaintance. I will work in a law firm and in a luxury plaza. I need some money to spend my last months comfortably so I wanted to work but the job my father found scares me so much. I am ugly, insecure and lack social skills. It is very difficult for me to survive in such environments. I don't know what to do. I wanted a job where I didn't have to interact with people (like a dishwasher) but my family didn't accept it because it was a 'bad' job :( I'm going to work on Monday and my anxiety attacks have already started, I'm getting stomach cramps. I'm already mentally screwed up and it's so frustrating to spend my last weeks like this.
I think the only good thing about this event is that 1-2 disgraceful months I will spend there will encourage me to commit suicide even more.

a freak among all those normal and modern plaza people.. yeah thats me. im 22 btw and im in college

 

[FuneralCry]

I can imagine that it must be stressful being in that situation and I understand why you would be anxious. I'm sorry that you have to spend your last weeks feeling like that. It seems that in this life it is impossible to escape from suffering. I wish you the best with what you are doing.

 

[Klophy]

Hey, i'm almost 30 and never had a job.

I'd like to say that you're lucky someone got you a job but i also suffer from anxiety and panic attacks. Lack of social skills, looks and insecurity... we might be twins.

I remember when i was younger, applying to jobs was daunting. The panic we feel is just full of dread and paralysing. It's incredibly draining physically and mentally.

I wish i had some know-how on how to deal with the panxiety but i've got nothing. I hope you're somehow able to overcome it.

If you don't mind me asking, how do you deal with college? Are you pursuing a passion?

 

[whatevs]

My father got me a job through an acquaintance. I will work in a law firm and in a luxury plaza. I need some money to spend my last months comfortably so I wanted to work but the job my father found scares me so much. I am ugly, insecure and lack social skills. It is very difficult for me to survive in such environments. I don't know what to do. I wanted a job where I didn't have to interact with people (like a dishwasher) but my family didn't accept it because it was a 'bad' job :( I'm going to work on Monday and my anxiety attacks have already started, I'm getting stomach cramps. I'm already mentally screwed up and it's so frustrating to spend my last weeks like this.
I think the only good thing about this event is that 1-2 disgraceful months I will spend there will encourage me to commit suicide even more.

a freak among all those normal and modern plaza people.. yeah thats me. im 22 btw and im in college

The stomach cramps lasted a week for me during my internship (they made me work like another employee). Don't eat anything during work hours, you'll get a stomache.

 

[ineverlived]

Hey, i'm almost 30 and never had a job.

I'd like to say that you're lucky someone got you a job but i also suffer from anxiety and panic attacks. Lack of social skills, looks and insecurity... we might be twins.

I remember when i was younger, applying to jobs was daunting. The panic we feel is just full of dread and paralysing. It's incredibly draining physically and mentally.

I wish i had some know-how on how to deal with the panxiety but i've got nothing. I hope you're somehow able to overcome it.

If you don't mind me asking, how do you deal with college? Are you pursuing a passion?

I'm enrolled in university but I'm not going.. my family doesn't know about it either.. my psychological problems prevent me. I tried to go a few times but.. it's impossible. this world is not a place for me

 

[Klophy]

I'm enrolled in university but I'm not going.. my family doesn't know about it either.. my psychological problems prevent me. I tried to go a few times but.. it's impossible. this world is not a place for me

Yeah, i can relate i went to university and dropped out.

It's already tough enough living but having our minds mess with us definitely makes it feel impossible.

No matter what your choices are in the future, i hope you find peace.

 

[ineverlived]

tomorrow is the day and my stomach is killing me... im just too afraid

 

[ineverlived]

wasn't too bad actually

 

[Burner1234]

Do you still work there? How are things now?

 

[ineverlived]

Do you still work there? How are things now?

yes. it's pretty cool actually. i mean it is not great but atleast the job is easy. im a student so im just gonna work for another month then leave. if i can get a gaming computer with my salary i can delay my CTB one more year. (there are a few things I'm looking forward to like, world cup and big elections in my country) but i really need a pc for coping because otherwise i dont think i can handle my suffer. let's see if i can get a pc my country on a economic crisis so its not going to be easy :(

 

[ineverlived]

They gave me half the minimum wage. I have no choice but to commit suicide in a few weeks. My plan was to do it next year, but I won't be able to buy a computer. Which means I can't cope with games and escape my life. I've never been so sure to ctb.