Venting It's been three days now but I still can't move..

[MindFog]

I haven't done anything. Everything's a mess.

Why is it so hard for me. I can't even do my basic chores.

I can't wash my clothes or do groceries. Why would i rather eat cereal all day than just do this?
I'm practically glued to my bed and i can't get up.. I had three days of rest before I get back to work but I cant even do anything productive.
I cant even enjoy anything. I can't play games or talk to my friends.
My body feels so heavy. Maybe I'm tired or its the guilt piling up for being so useless..
And when they start to notice, I'll get yelled again.
It's always like this. I can't take it anymore..


Why is everything so hard for me. Am I really that stupid?
I can't even follow basic instructions. I feel like I'm getting fired already.
Why can't I understand when people talk? Why are they so complicated.
I like reading books. But it takes me a while to get the words in the page.

WHY DOES EVERYTHING I DO REQUIRES SO MUCH EFFORT?

And why is it so easy for them?

Why are they making fun of me?
Why do they hate me? I haven't done anything to them. Please stop talking about me.
I know I'm a mess. Please stop reminding me. I know I let everyone down so please just wait.

I'll be out of your hair soon. Don't worry about it.
Just please leave me alone.

 

[monicasqueen]

I haven't done anything. Everything's a mess.

Why is it so hard for me. I can't even do my basic chores.

I can't wash my clothes or do groceries. Why would i rather eat cereal all day than just do this?
I'm practically glued to my bed and i can't get up.. I had three days of rest before I get back to work but I cant even do anything productive.
I cant even enjoy anything. I can't play games or talk to my friends.
My body feels so heavy. Maybe I'm tired or its the guilt piling up for being so useless..
And when they start to notice, I'll get yelled again.
It's always like this. I can't take it anymore..


Why is everything so hard for me. Am I really that stupid?
I can't even follow basic instructions. I feel like I'm getting fired already.
Why can't I understand when people talk? Why are they so complicated.
I like reading books. But it takes me a while to get the words in the page.

WHY DOES EVERYTHING I DO REQUIRES SO MUCH EFFORT?

And why is it so easy for them?

Why are they making fun of me?
Why do they hate me? I haven't done anything to them. Please stop talking about me.
I know I'm a mess. Please stop reminding me. I know I let everyone down so please just wait.

I'll be out of your hair soon. Don't worry about it.
Just please leave me alone.

If you're needing anyone to talk to, you're welcome to PM me. Honestly, I recognize the feelings you're describing so vividly. It's this cyclic feeling of downward spiral. I'm sorry you're there. You're still on a path, just remember that. Where it leads is your choice and it always will be

 

[stygal]

Im sorry you feel that way :(

All I can say is that it sounds as if you were experiencing extreme depression/burnout.

Also sounds like your current job is not a good environment for you - I can somewhat relate even tho I mostly don't care anymore what others think.

It's definitely so so tiring to get up every.single.day and do the same crap over and over - how can people thrive in this throatcut capitalistic hellhole, I'll never understand.

Lots of strength to you <3

 

[down for the count]

As far as getting things done I would do this: break your tasks down into a series of smaller tasks. That can make things more manageable. I wish I followed that more myself. Also, try rewarding yourself for completing your tasks.

 

[hashtagnull]

I've been where you're at, so many times... depression sucks. The only thing that helped me was completely taking the pressure off - saying 'fuck it' to everything possible. Eventually, using up the little bit of energy that comes on basic stuff like showering, changing sheets, escapism into whatever comfort-things can take you away from reality for a while (eg. watching something, reading, music). Try to be kind to yourself - you aren't well and you need it.

 

[FutureNoomp]

Fuck work. Fuck having to work.

 

[FuneralCry]

It sounds stressful what you are going through. I understand it is difficult to do things when you have no motivation to do them. Being alive really is tiring. I'm sorry you have to deal with people like that, some people can be so cruel. I wish you the best.