It's becoming real

[lastdance]

My method is SN
I have everything I need (apart from beta-blockers), are they essential? some places say yes others say no

Either way Friday next week is my date (hopefully)
Was on a hotel website about to book a room on the date.
An overwhelming surge of emotions hit me that this is very real now.

First it was panic, then sadness, but now I'm relieved
Hopefully I can book the room
Hopefully I can go through with it
I hate myself so much
I'm useless
I'm sorry everyone who will be effected, I wish there was an easier way to give me peace

 

[FuneralCry]

I'm sorry for all the suffering that has brought you to this point. I wish you the best in whatever happens and I hope you find peace whether you decide to go through with it or not.

 

[High on Disco]

Beta-blockers are not essential, but they can help manage panic when (if) your survival instinct kicks in, especially when taken with benzodiazepines.