It took 5 days for me to come crawling back here

[Soapie]

(prefacing this by saying I'm in a horrid mental state right now so if this is kind of weird to read it's cause I'm just sorta word-vomiting here.)

You would think seeing real people die would be traumatizing enough to keep me away from here. Nope, I didn't learn shit from that. Life keeps escalating. Every day things get worse and worse and worse. I just want peace. It's all I want. I just want to know some relief from this. My psychosis is back again after being gone for months. It's very possible that my partner is killing himself as I type this and there's nothing I can do about it. There's just nothing left for me here. I was supposed to fly over to California to see him in 3 days. I guess that isn't happening now.

I think it's about time I get serious about ending it. I have all the materials needed to get it done, I just need a date and somewhere quiet. My best bet is probably a hotel. I'm gonna put a date down right here, right now, and I'm going to follow through. I have to. I have no choice anymore. I need to get this over with. December 5th. That's 14 days from now. I have two weeks left to live. On the 5th I'll keep you guys updated. If I can't have loved ones with me while I go, my next best bet is you guys. I'll see you all then I guess. <3

 

[FuneralCry]

I understand it is an awful feeling when things keep on getting worse. Being alive is just so horrible. I wish you the best with your plans, I hope you find peace and freedom from suffering.

 

[Seafoam]

I've been back and forth on this website too. Hopefully you'll have the courage to do what you need to do.

 

[Soapie]

I understand it is an awful feeling when things keep on getting worse. Being alive is just so horrible. I wish you the best with your plans, I hope you find peace and freedom from suffering.

Thank you friend. I hope we all can