it gets worst each day more

[iwantpeace]

hmm i dont have too much to say, i mean, my life isn't that bad, i have a lot of friends and a great family, but i have this huge sensation that i dont belong here, i started developing anxiety and depression at the age 7 and now i was diagnosed with borderline disorder, things are getting so much worst you know? i feel so bad for feeling ungrateful for my life, but i dont feel like there's something to fight for, i feel like being alive it's totally a bullshit, i mean, why i have to suffer my whole life, put so much effort on things just to die later? this doesn't makes sense to me, but i feel like im too weak to kill myself, im always waiting to something take me away from here, i dont belong here, i dont want to be here, but at the same time i dont want to disappoint my loved ones and this hurts me so much.
there's anyone here who feels the same?

 

[Folie]

i also have BPD. how old are you? it gets better with age. i promise. you learn your behaviors. Especially those that deal with self harm. But I'm also medicated. I take seroquel and prozac. it took me a loooooooong time to get to where I'm at today.

 

[iwantpeace]

im 19 now, but i dont know, medicines are so much expensive out here, so i not take then anymore and this feeling that things will never getting better are kinda demotivating me..