Venting Isolated and Lonely

[EveWants2Die]

This is my first post and I'm a new user to the site. This is just a vent because I genuinely can't find any community that seems empathetic or willing to listen and I guess knowing someone reads this will be of solace to me :P

I'm transfemme and I've faced so much hate because of an online community I was in, that still won't leave me alone to this day. I've been doxxed, had the cops called, get sent videos of gore, called transphobic slurs and get told to end myself about twice a day or more, which doesn't help when I already have SI.

I just feel like I am surrounded by nothing but loneliness and it frustrates me greatly that past me withdrew from my IRL friendships because I figured 'if they wanna be around me they'll reach out first' and no one ever did. And then the same pattern happened with online friends too. I lost my group of real friends because I was depressed, so I isolated. Now I am just painfully lonely and feel like I'm only surrounded by hate and it really hurts. I can't figure out how to make any friends. I've tried, and tried, and have carried conversations through countless attempts at creating new relationships but it feels like no one ever wants to be around me in the end. All the relationships never lead to anything. I think I am the problem.

I. am. so. lonely.

Thanks for reading my vent I guess

 

[timf]

We live at a point in history where there is unprecedented isolation. Fewer and fewer people are even bothering to marry or have children. As a result there are sub cultures that form and people try to make relational connections through those cultures. However, even within those cultures it can be difficult to find acceptance.

The Goth culture of a few decades ago seems to have vanished today. The urban black gangsta rap culture is one that is not very transportable.

Most large cities have a section of town that is loosely called "artistic". Sometimes people like painters, musicians, writers, and sculptors make connections with others that might be called outliers. However, the artistic community can have a higher number of people who are so self-involved that they can be even more rude to each other than those in the larger society that they eschew.

As each of us tries to navigate through life, we can make discoveries that may be unpleasant, but also help us know better what paths are open and which ones are closed.

 

[historiaegiptu]

Im Sorry all of that happened to you. Being trans really is a prison sentence lol. People nowdays are only focused on themselves it so hard to make friends.