Isn't it unreal how we're all here?

[Bookscover]

I've been extremely depressed and suicidal all my life and I always told myself to believe the worst of everyone around me. But this is just too far. I've always told myself that this is actually what's real. That unconditional love and genuine kindness doesn't exist in that way. That really, underneath all that fake shit most people are sociopaths.

But I never truly believed it. It's still so unreal how literally everyone just stops giving a shit when you don't have any more value to bring. I wasn't raised up to think this. I was raised up to think most people are kind and no one would abandon me and the classical "you will always be loved the way you are". But I know now that that was all just a lie. I guess they couldn't foresee a future where I'm this ugly and down in the shit. It's what makes me hate life. The feeling that I've been lied to crushes me every day. Especially since I never 100% believed it.

But I'm guessing I'm not alone in this? Is there anyone else here who just feels like all this is so unreal. Like it just happened too fast.

 

[marinekiwi]

I've been extremely depressed and suicidal all my life and I always told myself to believe the worst of everyone around me. But this is just too far. I've always told myself that this is actually what's real. That unconditional love and genuine kindness doesn't exist in that way. That really, underneath all that fake shit most people are sociopaths.

But I never truly believed it. It's still so unreal how literally everyone just stops giving a shit when you don't have any more value to bring. I wasn't raised up to think this. I was raised up to think most people are kind and no one would abandon me and the classical "you will always be loved the way you are". But I know now that that was all just a lie. I guess they couldn't foresee a future where I'm this ugly and down in the shit. It's what makes me hate life. The feeling that I've been lied to crushes me every day. Especially since I never 100% believed it.

But I'm guessing I'm not alone in this? Is there anyone else here who just feels like all this is so unreal. Like it just happened too fast.

This is true.
We live in a world where everyone only care for themselves, no matter what kind of pain they inflict into others. What I see here is a bunch of empathic people tired of being treated like garbage by relatives, friends, couples, society in general.
Not having a chance to love or be loved back, it's only a matter of who can give the most. Once you stop giving what they want, people just toss you aside like a cigarette butt.

It's really a pain to be empathic in this psychopathic society.

 

[avoid_slow_death]

Pretty much sums up how I have seen life most of my life. I literally feel like I am an object. And when people don't need anything from me anymore, they throw me away like the piece of trash I literally am.

 

[Lone_Gray_Wolf]

To be fair, everyone has their own worries, living 1 life is enough, one does not need to live the life of 2 people. As harsh as it sounds, it is what it is; we are all expected to carry our own weight with more or less help but is on us. Every action towards others is expected to have some sort of retribution at some point. Just like if a friend listens to you but you don't listen to them, he will go eventually because you are not retributing, therefore, he is not getting anything out of it.

Best of luck

 

[ikadasui]

This haunts me because I try to hang in the ring for my friends, but I am just so insecure and hate myself to such a substantial degree I end up becoming flaky and unreliable. I don't want to burden people with my presence so I fade out and in doing so look like I'm just using people when in reality it's for their own good

 

[LonelyBrazilian]

This shit world we live is made of appearance and status.

All my life I have seen selfish people being loved while myself and many other people never even received any love at all.

 

[FuneralCry]

People can be very cruel and awful, it is why I stay away. Of course all people are naturally selfish anyway. It can be painful when our delusional beliefs are shattered and we are forced to confront the harsh realities of life.

Nothing feels unreal about being at this point for me, suicide is the only way for me and I have accepted that fact. It is comforting to think about my death.