Venting Is this decision reasonable

[cordolium]

I have one of the most painful illnesses in the world. The only people that understand are the people that have it, and everyone tries to make their pain a competition. I've been to so many doctors, put on countless waiting lists but no hope is found. Its only gonna get worse with age and I still have a whole life ahead of me. I'd rather do the things that make me happy now then try to stay healthy and miss out on everything. I've pretty much decided I'm going to kill myself one day. When I get put out of a job after working so hard for my literal dream job I won't have a reason to live anymore. I don't wanna be looked at as that random person in the wheelchair that looks completley healthy. Does anyone think I should try to keep doing my job or live my life while I still can. Am I wrong for thinking like this?

 

[Cathy Ames]

I don't know the answer to your other questions, but I definitely do NOT think you are wrong for thinking like this.

 

[Al Cappella]

Nope, makes sense to me. Tomorrow's not really guaranteed anyway. You do you, never mind anyone, or anything else—within reason of course…

 

[Sleeper System]

Terminal pain is something I can not even imagine. The worse pain I ever felt in my life was having a tooth crushed and pulled out in pieces with no anesthetic. I thought that if I got through that then I basically just got tortured and survived. To live with that kind of pain and it doesn't stop... that is hell. It occurs to me that as I'm writing this... my depression feels terminal. A thought I can not escape anymore. So maybe I understand better than I think. Idk.
I want everyone here to stop suffering. I wish ctb were as easy as falling asleep.

 

[FuneralCry]

That sounds so horrific what you are going through, to me it is so awful how our bodies are capable of torturing us, this life really can be so awful and unfair. I'm sorry that you have to endure this, and it is your life and your decision after all and only you know what is best for yourself. I hope you find relief from your pain in whatever happens, I wish you the best.