Is my CTB okay?

[Cepi]

I want some honest opinions on whether I'm being reasonable or ungrateful about my decision to ctb in the future. I suffer from OCD and depression and possibly autism. I struggled so bad with OCD that I couldn't leave my house or take care of myself for 5 years and let myself go and there's permanent damage to my body cosmetically due to this. It causes a huge amount of distress and keeps me from interacting with people but I'm pushing myself to do something with my life to help me overcome these issues. I plan to eventually get work done on my body but I'm aware it'll never be the same and I've come to terms with that. Everyday feels like I'm running on overtime and I feel like I should just commit suicide any-day now but I don't want to have any regrets if this is my only life. So I'm giving myself 10-13 years I'm 23 to overhaul my life and try to see if I can deal with these circumstances but I feel 99% sure it'll never enough and I'll commit suicide either way. I have a big goal of helping make health care free in the states but I know it's quite ludicrous but my life was basically fucked over by not being given proper resources for my mental health issues. Do you think me ctb'ing in the future would would be stupid if I still can't find some okay-ness in the future with my plan?

 

[undynee]

I think you should always pursue your dreams no matter what as failures can inspire you to do better and do what you want to do for the greater good.

I believe in your heart and mind and I believe that you will truly amount to great things in life. you're a genuine person in a broken world. We need more people like you. Think of this as day one of your great story. Stay strong friend.

 

[Teleftaía Anapnoí]

I believe only you can say if it's worth it or not. I particularly believe that it takes a lot of pain for someone to commit suicide, only the individual knows how long he can stand to live.