is it wrong to blame someone for your suicide?

[39hatsune]

what if this person genuinely drove you to it? like i have been suicidal for years before i met this person but they really fucked me up, my decision this time is a result of their actions

i dont want to write in a note or something that its their fault, but i also kinda want them to know how they made me feel

 

[sanctionedusage]

no with respect to common sense caveats

 

[not yet]

Uhh, I'm not sure. I think it depends on the person's intentions and what exactly they did

 

[39hatsune]

Uhh, I'm not sure. I think it depends on the person's intentions and what exactly they did

abuse but i think they genuinely dont realise they abused me . like either he is really stupid and arrogant or he knows exactly what he did
thats why im unsure

 

[NearlyIrrelevantCake]

Depends what they did, obviously use some common sense [don't blame an infant for crying and giving you a headache so bad you CTB...] but in general I don't think it's wrong.

 

[Deepdense]

Generally there are more variables at play so if you want to blame them make a list of what brought you to doing it.

 

[39hatsune]

Generally there are more variables at play so if you want to blame them make a list of what brought you to doing it.

thats true. as much as this person hurt me, i dont really want to hurt them
but i dont know how else they can understand the gravity of what they have done and how it made me feel

 

[Deepdense]

thats true. as much as this person hurt me, i dont really want to hurt them
but i dont know how else they can understand the gravity of what they have done and how it made me feel

As long as they know they aren't the sole cause it would relieve some guilt.

 

[Lady_V]

Personal opinion, but I think it really depends on the reasons. If they rape you and you commit suicide, yes, they share the blame. When kids or family viciously bully you to the point you kill yourself, blood is on their hands. If you're scammed out of all your money and ctb, the scammer played a big part in your death.

Buuuttt if you want to blame them for pushing you away or breaking up with you and whatnot, not so much. That's probably just manipulation.

 

[39hatsune]

Personal opinion, but I think it really depends on the reasons. If they rape you and you commit suicide, yes, they share the blame. When kids or family viciously bully you to the point you kill yourself, blood is on their hands. If you're scammed out of all your money and ctb, the scammer played a big part in your death.

Buuuttt if you want to blame them for pushing you away or breaking up with you and whatnot, not so much. That's probably just manipulation.

thats the thing i feel like a terrible person for even thinking that hes to blame even though he put me through genuine hell
even worse, i really really cant tell if everything he did was on purpose or not, there was always an excuse

 

[glided~hydrangea]

In my opinion it's absolutely plausible and normal to blame someone for your decision to ctb. If THEIR actions directly affected YOU to the point where you don't want to live anymore, then yeah—it's their fault. Now, some may argue there are other mental health factors that come into play (ex. Have you been diagnosed with any mental illness such as depression, anxiety, PTSD, schizophrenia, etc.) . But in my opinion, those don't directly lead to suicidal ideation. Your actual circumstances and how dire or traumatic they are is what ultimately stress you out to the point where you reach that decision. So yes—it's okay to blame someone else for your ctb if they genuinely put you through such hell or internal torment that you feel the need to do that.

 

[Realog11]

what if this person genuinely drove you to it? like i have been suicidal for years before i met this person but they really fucked me up, my decision this time is a result of their actions

i dont want to write in a note or something that its their fault, but i also kinda want them to know how they made me feel

Yes my sister is the one person that drove me to ctb even years ago, she's such a toxic being

 

[39hatsune]

In my opinion it's absolutely plausible and normal to blame someone for your decision to ctb. If THEIR actions directly affected YOU to the point where you don't want to live anymore, then yeah—it's their fault. Now, some may argue there are other mental health factors that come into play (ex. Have you been diagnosed with any mental illness such as depression, anxiety, PTSD, schizophrenia, etc.) . But in my opinion, those don't directly lead to suicidal ideation. Your actual circumstances and how dire or traumatic they are is what ultimately stress you out to the point where you reach that decision. So yes—it's okay to blame someone else for your ctb if they genuinely put you through such hell or internal torment that you feel the need to do that.

thank you, i agree

and i am not actually diagnosed with anything however ive been suicidal for a long time . though id say this person pushed me to the edge honestly

Yes my sister is the one person that drove me to ctb even years ago, she's such a toxic being

im sorry about your situation

 

[Daphne]

I have a list of people that made my life a living hell over the years and they've played a role in driving me to my breaking point.

Abusers think nothing of the harm they cause others because they lack a conscience. The only karma for them is to experience the abuse they've heaped on others, then maybe they'll learn their lesson.

 

[yeaimhere13]

i wouldnt mention them in the note. not because they didnt do anything wrong, but because imo its not very classy. it could also damage those who had no part in how that person treated you, like their family for example. HOWEVER you should definitely give them a piece of your mind before you decide what to do. maybe even seek revenge lol. best of luck

 

[39hatsune]

i wouldnt mention them in the note. not because they didnt do anything wrong, but because imo its not very classy. it could also damage those who had no part in how that person treated you, like their family for example. HOWEVER you should definitely give them a piece of your mind before you decide what to do. maybe even seek revenge lol. best of luck

yeah its ironic because their family are genuinely really nice people thank you

 

[fadedghost]

no

 

[Hellis]

To blame someone for your death? No, that's very human.

To make them and others feel at fault for your death? Absolutely.

I've always maintained the belief that suicide should be an act of escape or betterment and not a weapon. Also helps bring positive awareness to suicidality rather than censorship, alienation, or antagonism. Even in death our choices can effect others.

But morality isn't important to everyone and I do not have nor believe I should have the power to control others.


Edit: read about the abuse part. If this is a person who abused you with the purpose of hurting you, I doubt they'd care even if they were named. I can see it backfiring and just demonizing you in the end. On the other hand, you seem to maintain the idea that this person isn't some cold hearted monster, and I trust your judgement on this. I maintain my earlier opinion, but I am not you and my mindset isn't necessarily the correct one.

 

[etherealgoddess]

what if this person genuinely drove you to it? like i have been suicidal for years before i met this person but they really fucked me up, my decision this time is a result of their actions

i dont want to write in a note or something that its their fault, but i also kinda want them to know how they made me feel

personally, i wouldn't blame someone. it's just creating more pain in the world. people are villains because of their own pain. more pain will just make them worse human beings. they probably already know they're bad human beings but don't have the bandwidth to see outside of their own pain. but i am really sorry that you were so hurt by them.

 

[39hatsune]

personally, i wouldn't blame someone. it's just creating more pain in the world. people are villains because of their own pain. more pain will just make them worse human beings. they probably already know they're bad human beings but don't have the bandwidth to see outside of their own pain. but i am really sorry that you were so hurt by them.

thank you i really appreciate it

 

[DeathSweetDeath]

But you were suicidal for years before meeting them. I have no doubt that whatever they did, it was shitty, but they did not drive you from being happy and content and 100% not suicidal to 100% suicidal. And you could always just decide you are not giving them that kind of power, and you could just not CTB.

 

[39hatsune]

But you were suicidal for years before meeting them. I have no doubt that whatever they did, it was shitty, but they did not drive you from being happy and content and 100% not suicidal to 100% suicidal. And you could always just decide you are not giving them that kind of power, and you could just not CTB.

yes thats true, thanks

 

[InevitableDeath]

No. There are many who actively incite suicide. Name them, leave the details, if you have any money leave it all with a lawyer to prosecute the fucks.

 

[whocaresnobodycares]

I think so, unless it was an abusive parent/ guardian who made you miserable in life from the get-go. I haven't had that, but I've had problems from my perfectly-OK parents that affected my outlook, esteem, or confidence negatively, sure. They were doing an OK job, though, their best.
Beyond that, no single person SHUOLD be able to steer you 180 degrees from "want to live" to "I need to die."

....but I suppose it could happen, SOMEhow that I'm not visualizing at this second, as I'm about to go to bed after midnight. I'm not the Grand Arbiter Of Why People Should Be Sad. It just seems like a reach beyond irreparable childhood trauma.

 

[SymphonyOfSuffering]

i mean it depends on the severity of what the person did and also the duration of it