Is it selfish?

[ruudd]

Hi all,

I am just wondering what u opinion is into this situation.

My parents died a few years ago, so i did take care of my brother he has a mental disorder. After a long time of living with him at home it was better for him to go to a
healthcare facility ( He can't walk also ).

My life is horrible, but compare it to him my life is good.

I go only 1x a week to him because of the distance and i feel extremly tired each day, most of the time he looks extremly depressed, i can see it on hes face it hurts alot to see it, i can see and feel the pain he has of missing my parents. i can feel the pain he has of having no friends, no girlfriend, can't walk, no normal life, nobody to talk, no goals in life just waiting for the dead, its just a agony.

Last years i have not see him laugh, only complain and be sad/angry.

We have almost no family left also, they all already dead. Now u think maybe we are old, but my brother is just 30.

In the healthcare facility, there are only people they are 5 times worse mental disorder than he got and age of 60+, my brother got a very light mental disorder, just iq lower than normal peoples. Into the healthcare facility ofcours there are nurse, but they spend almost no time on him.

I wish my life was normal and i wish i did got much money, so i could buying a house in hes city, i wish i could make a own family so he could be a part of it so he would feel less lonly also, but i am depressed of failing in life.

I wish i was a better brother for him, because of all my own problems i can't do much for him.

I think its selfish to suicide, he got nobody left expect me, i am hes only friend, we call each day and i try to act i am happy, so he maybe will feel better, i ask him 10 times a hour how it goes because i can see and feel he don't say the true how he really feels...

 

[esse_est_percipi]

You are a great person. If only there were more people in the world like you.
I'm sorry for what you and your brother are going through.

If you feel strong enough, it would be good for you to stay for your brother. But ultimately, you are the best judge of your own life. 'Selfishness' comes in degrees and everyone acts selfishly in some way most of the time. We can't live our lives just to keep others happy if it makes us miserable.

 

[Anonymoussn]

I'm sorry for what you're going through. Suicide is, in a sense, selfish on some level for almost everyone. Suicide for me personally would be selfish to the people in my life who would be hurt by me taking my own life. The same for many other people. But getting a new job is selfish because it hurts your current employer. Dumping your partner is selfish because it will hurt them. Buying a house is selfish if a lower bidder wanted that house. But does that make these things wrong? Sometimes you have a right to make selfish decisions about your own life, because the impact that these decisions have on your own life is in your opinion bigger than what it would be to the people that the selfish decision would hurt.

With suicide, I think everyone has to weigh up the decision and decide whether it is worth it based on how strongly they feel about it, and how strongly they feel about the ramifications.

I can't tell you if you should live or not. But if you make the decision to CTB, it won't be because you've taken this lightly. The fact that you have posted this thread shows that you care. But if you just can't go on, then it can be selfish and the right decision at the same time.

 

[Ghost2211]

It must b heartbreaking to watch a loved one suffer so much, but no I don't think it is selfish. You're a sibling not a parent, and he is safe and getting care. If he lived in your home it would complicate things a bit more, but the distance removes him from the situation a bit.

we can only live for others for so long.

 

[VIBRITANNIA]

being selfish isn't inherently a bad thing. you can only be so selfless before it starts to hurt you.

i can't give you a definite answer, because i haven't lived your life. in the end, you are the judge of what's the best decision.

 

[disabledandhopeless]

You're a great person.