Is it actually possible for me to off myself, or am I just kidding myself?

[TorturedMike888]

My life is ruined. I'm facing potential homelessness by the end of the year and I live in a state that actually had the gall to criminalize it. It's so backwards, but it it what it is. I'm unemployed, suffer with psychosis and don't have a stable source of income. I wanted to cbt with an inert gas, but I don't have the money to make it happen. I don't know how or where to purchase the pills that are used for cbt either, but it would probably be too expensive. I can't seem to be able to drown myself. I don't want to run into traffic because it would traumatize the driver, and I could still survive the incident. I don't have any knives sharp enough to cut open my neck. I have considered hanging myself, but there's no anchor point for me to use for it. I only just found out about partial hanging, but I'm not really sure how to do that. I'm honestly kind of disappointed with myself. I keep getting into situations where I either suffer abuse and humiliation so strong that all I want to do is leave this planet. This has happened to me 3 separate times and it's happening again. I feel like for once I should just be able to force it to happen. It's just so hard. That's why the inert gas method seemed like it would be great for me, but that was before I realized how expensive it is to set up. What should I do?

 

[cyanidekitty]

really what can you do. ctb is in most cases either somewhat expensive, too risky of a chance to take, or just traumatizing to others.

in all honesty, if you really wanted to (tho i hope you'll have a reason to stay eventually) i say just wait it out/look into things that are somewhat easier to accomplish.

the world is absolutely nasty to disabled people & homeless people as is. not a good mix at all.