Discussion Is anyone else struggling with chronic dissociation? How do you cope?

[red_cardinal]

I've had dissociative coping mechanisms since I was a child, including maladaptive daydreaming. For the past 7-ish years, dissociation has become my default state, and I navigate the world and daily life in a haze, feeling detached from myself and my surroundings, no matter if I'm having a good or bad time.

I think my nervous system is quite fried from the anxiety, medication changes, environment changes, trauma and so on, and I've been experiencing more and more exhaustion and skill regression now that I'm in my 30s. Due to the constant brain fog and dissociation, I have a hard time using my thinking, I feel slower, I take a longer time to process information, and during a regular day, I only get a few hours of clarity, when I can feel like I have my old cognitive abilities back.

Is anyone else living like this? It makes me miserable, among other things, but I hope I will find something that will help. I've just started trauma-focused therapy, namely EMDR, and hopefully my therapist will help in this respect. However, I don't see it happening too soon, it could take some time. Feel free to share your thoughts, opinions, experiences

 

[timf]

Sometimes disassociation is a defense mechanism. If it tends to be too broad, you might experiment with things that could narrow it. For example, if you can find a way to give yourself a corner of your life to something you enjoy like crosswords, Sudoku, or other challenge, you might find a way to retain some clarity in spite of other things happening around you.

 

[red_cardinal]

Sometimes disassociation is a defense mechanism. If it tends to be too broad, you might experiment with things that could narrow it. For example, if you can find a way to give yourself a corner of your life to something you enjoy like crosswords, Sudoku, or other challenge, you might find a way to retain some clarity in spite of other things happening around you.

Thank you. I do this, I focus on my interests and hobbies, relaxing activities, but dissociation is my default state at this point, and even when I get some clarity, I'm still enjoying activities in a haze, from a distance.

Yesterday it occurred to me that perhaps this dream-like state is also due to my chronic pain, which makes me uncomfortable in my own body. Maybe, also as a defense mechanism, my mind keeps a distance from my body so I'm as comfortable as I can be. Even the bodily sensations and pain are felt with a 'filter', muffled. My therapist found my theory interesting and probable.

All in all, I'm managing.

 

[MapleS]

My brain cannot comprehend a full sentence so forgive me, I cannot read the whole thing.

I'm trying to feel things by trying to feel sensations in my body. For a lot of people it AT FIRST ends up as panic attack or crying - me too. And what is important is a safe place. Allow yourself to feel bad. People cannot feel good without feeling bad. In the long run dissociation may fade a bit or you will feel less tension in the " back of your feelings"

Dissociation is a blur film that is on your feelings and sensations. (like touch, and emotions and pain) For me dissociation started to not feel that everything hurts (I have autism. A lot of people dealing with dissociation have autism, but not everyone. think about it thouh)

Very important thing while uncovering weird sensations in your body is accepting them and not trying to suppress them. You will be uncomfortable but than it will fade and/or you will get used to it so it will not be painfull. Try to find things to cope with these sensations slowly. After some time you can learn how to control your actions WHILE feeling these sensations but don't do it too early.

You can also listem to loud music on the headphones to let your brain be busy and then you can try to feel your body (it may be less stressful this way.

My brain melted. That's all my knowledge.

Sorry I didn't read whole post and couldn't give you personal advice. I hope it will help though. Good luck <3

 

[red_cardinal]

My brain cannot comprehend a full sentence so forgive me, I cannot read the whole thing.

I'm trying to feel things by trying to feel sensations in my body. For a lot of people it AT FIRST ends up as panic attack or crying - me too. And what is important is a safe place. Allow yourself to feel bad. People cannot feel good without feeling bad. In the long run dissociation may fade a bit or you will feel less tension in the " back of your feelings"

Dissociation is a blur film that is on your feelings and sensations. (like touch, and emotions and pain) For me dissociation started to not feel that everything hurts (I have autism. A lot of people dealing with dissociation have autism, but not everyone. think about it thouh)

Very important thing while uncovering weird sensations in your body is accepting them and not trying to suppress them. You will be uncomfortable but than it will fade and/or you will get used to it so it will not be painfull. Try to find things to cope with these sensations slowly. After some time you can learn how to control your actions WHILE feeling these sensations but don't do it too early.

You can also listem to loud music on the headphones to let your brain be busy and then you can try to feel your body (it may be less stressful this way.

My brain melted. That's all my knowledge.

Sorry I didn't read whole post and couldn't give you personal advice. I hope it will help though. Good luck <3

No worries for not reading the whole post Thank you for taking the time and energy to reply, it's much appreciated. I do have autism, and I've never made this connection. It adds another layer to why I might struggle with constant depersonalization. I'm slowly starting to work with physical sensations in a controlled way, I also use a safe place in EMDR therapy (and I use it outside of it, too). It does get uncomfortable when I pierce this hazy veil and actually feel something, but it's progress

Thank you

 

[FoxSauce]

Idk sometimes happens when severe stress involves sometimes my vision becomes blurry and I cant hear what people say (happened once I think)

And sometimes I feel im not really and no one is real. Makes no sense

 

[girl_with_a_plan]

It depends on what you're dissociating from. For me C-PTSD, and AuDHD mean dissociating is a way of life for me - maladaptive daydreaming and feeling unreal and all of it are a reality. I really feel the "I feel slower, I take a longer time to process information" - it means life is both on hard mode and slow mode right now as I'm in bad burn out. I've started having a few sips of liquor to make the end of the day less painful; it's not a healthy way to cope but figure a shotglass of it every few days might be ok, especially if I make the cocktails myself.

I will say EMDR is a huge, huge help - it's helped a lot with trauma. I still feel dissociation is a haze I'm stuck with, but EMDR was life changing for me. It really helped create a lot of insights, which lead to a lot of resolution and healing. I wish it was more publicizied, because even on a rough day of therapy, it's helped my brain create new neural pathways and has just allowed me to continue having some joy in life. It is definitely a journey that require spacing and support, but I'm proud of you for trying it. <3

 

[red_cardinal]

It depends on what you're dissociating from. For me C-PTSD, and AuDHD mean dissociating is a way of life for me - maladaptive daydreaming and feeling unreal and all of it are a reality. I really feel the "I feel slower, I take a longer time to process information" - it means life is both on hard mode and slow mode right now as I'm in bad burn out. I've started having a few sips of liquor to make the end of the day less painful; it's not a healthy way to cope but figure a shotglass of it every few days might be ok, especially if I make the cocktails myself.

I will say EMDR is a huge, huge help - it's helped a lot with trauma. I still feel dissociation is a haze I'm stuck with, but EMDR was life changing for me. It really helped create a lot of insights, which lead to a lot of resolution and healing. I wish it was more publicizied, because even on a rough day of therapy, it's helped my brain create new neural pathways and has just allowed me to continue having some joy in life. It is definitely a journey that require spacing and support, but I'm proud of you for trying it. <3

Hey Thank you so much for sharing, this is literally me -- I'm also dissociating due to C-PTSD and neurodivergence, and I've been doing it ever since I can remember. I'm happy to hear EMDR workesd for you, this gives me hope. I've been using maladaptive daydreaming since I was a child to cope, and while it's much less of a problem now, the daily dissociation has worsened over the past years

It's great that you're better, but please be careful with the liquor. I'm a recovering alcoholic and this is how it started for me, using rituals like this for comfort, then they'd escalate to finding excuses to drink more. Good luck, and thank you for your reply, I feel more confident