Probably true, there is no magic way. Everyone's journey is personal, and unique to the person. But still, there might be tactics or typical, common thought patterns that people go through before success. They just don't get to share it, because well, if it's a success... So, it's difficult to know what those are.
The other problem is, I think, that people who might have good ideas in this matter may be hesitant to share them, because it can be viewed as "encouragement". Although, this forum is pretty open-minded. For example, "just close your eyes, and do it", "don't think" etc. are excellent advice.
I have spent so much time thinking about this recently. How to overcome SI, procrastination, or anything that holds me back. How to convince myself, how to get rid of any thoughts that prevent me from going ahead. It is really hard.
There are a number of things I've been telling myself. For example:
(I hope I don't get banned for sharing these.)
- What do I have to lose if I do it? Possible positive life experiences? I have already come to the conclusion that there won't be any.
- What holds me back? The only thing that holds me back is fear of death. Family and friends? No. Fear of afterlife? No. Hope that life gets better? No. Hope is gone. Feeling sorry for myself? No, not anymore. Is fear of death going to be the only thing that'll prevent me from doing it? I can't let that happen!
- Even if there is a chance for life to get better, and I throw away that chance, so what? I won't be there to "miss" any lost opportunities. Doing it is a "safe" choice. I can't go wrong with it.
- Useful tactics to keep in mind:
- Concrete steps. Need to take concrete steps. Act. Do. Take action. Even if just small steps, preparations, but I must do them. There is no other way.
- Create an environment where everything is ready, and then at the right moment I might be able to pull the trigger… In other words, even if I'm unsure about my decision at times or hesitate, just get things ready, do the preparations etc.
- Reduce the thinking. Just don't think. "Lock in!" Just do what needs to be done, mechanically.
- Go ahead despite the fear, and perhaps despite any uncertainty. There will always be doubt from time to time. Learn to ignore it. It's normal. Not just with suicide, but with any kind of decision! If it's not an impulsive decision or act, it's normal. The right thing to do is to go ahead according to the plan.
- It's not complicated. Focus on what's important.
- Make a will. (doable, not difficult)
- Do some basic cleaning, tidying. (easy)
- Technical details, method. (easy)
- Clean up paper notes, take care of privacy. (easy)
- Actually doing it. (HARD. The only hard part.)
- Let go of perfection. Again, focus on what's important. As long as I get the important parts right, it's good enough. For example, making a will is important. Not having a failed attempt is important. But beyond that, it doesn't really matter... Taking care of privacy, cleaning and tidying, writing the perfect goodbye letter, the exact location where I'll do it, and many other things, are not important. Even if I don't get those perfect, but I make sure the important parts are taken care of, and I can actually do it, it's a success.
- I just have to do it once. And it's over. Forever. It's a safe choice. And it's a permanent solution.
- Accept my fate. Bad luck, not fit for life, or whatever. It happens. Not a big deal.
- The question is not "Why me?", but "Why NOT me?". The universe doesn't owe me anything.
- Some people commit suicide. It's a thing that exists in the world. It happens. And I'm just going to be one of them. So what? What's the big deal about it? I mean, if no one had ever done it, that would be a different story. But it's not like that. Many people do it every day.
- I've been very seriously thinking about it for years. Normally, if I think about something or want to do something for years, what's a normal thing to do? Like buying something, moving, telling someone something, whatever… If I want to do something for years and years, it's just normal to finally do it. Why would killing myself be any different?
- I hate myself. I have never liked myself. I have never liked being me. Nothing helps. No matter how my life turns out in the future, this thing will never change. Do I want to live the rest of my life like this?
- Now is the time. Everything is planned. I thought it over well, every aspect of it. It won't get any easier. If I can't do it now, I won't do it later either.
- If I do it, it's not bad for me. It's bad for the people left behind. How is this a concern…? For me, it's good. I won't exist, and that's what I want.
- My concern is up to the point I jump. Anything else beyond that is not my concern anymore. It's the problem of the living. I tend to overthink things. Method, location, the stuff I leave behind, the people I leave behind, what if my life changes, "what if this, what if that", missed opportunities, feeling sad, feeling sorry, feeling this and that... Let go. It doesn't matter. My concern is up to the moment I jump. And it's over. That's the point. I don't want to think anymore. If I can just think about a way to actually pull the trigger, and jump, that's all I need to think about, that's as far as I need to see. What comes after is beyond my control, and not my problem anymore. The best, and only reasonable approach is not to think about it at all.
- Flip the question. The question is not "Why die?", but "Why stay?" Assume life is not inherently good or valuable. Or even assume life is inherently bad.
- Assume death is not bad. Who says it is? It's just a social concept.
- No-one knows what they are doing. It's just the society we live in. If it was a different society, and there were different social norms, it would all be different. There have been societies where suicide was accepted, or even expected in certain situations. It's all relative.
- Death, suicide is not objectively good or bad. People have their opinion, but it's just their opinion. I have mine.
- Again, it's a safe decision. It won't be worse! How can non-existence be worse? At worst, it won't be better. But it won't be worse. Even if I make the wrong decision, or it's not the optimal choice, it won't be worse. As long as it's not a failed attempt, it's impossible to screw this up.
I could go on, but this is already long enough, so I'll stop.
Of course, these still might not help when my final moment comes, but they helped rationalising and becoming more certain in my decision.
