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Eden2k

Eden2k

Experienced
Nov 20, 2018
228
I'm not in touch with my emotions. I shut down at an early age and I am now trying to reconnect. I've put on a "mask" for so long, but now the "mask" is slipping. I've been isolating myself for the last week. I can't bare to be exposed, vulnerable...
 
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Shewaitsforme

Arcanist
Sep 23, 2018
493
Yes i can relate. I told my psychologist in hospital that it felt like my emotions are in a dark room, i can enter the room but i cant find(recognise) these emotions. Growing up my family always said i seem to lack emotion amd when my partner died in May my mum said when i talk about her i dont seem very emotional. I feel numb most the time, i get fleeting feelings but they are gone before ive even registered what it was. Its dissociation apparently to defend myself but my mind just takes it too far, cant risk people seeing me vunerable amd broken
 
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Eden2k

Eden2k

Experienced
Nov 20, 2018
228
Yes i can relate. I told my psychologist in hospital that it felt like my emotions are in a dark room, i can enter the room but i cant find(recognise) these emotions. Growing up my family always said i seem to lack emotion amd when my partner died in May my mum said when i talk about her i dont seem very emotional. I feel numb most the time, i get fleeting feelings but they are gone before ive even registered what it was. Its dissociation apparently to defend myself but my mind just takes it too far, cant risk people seeing me vunerable amd broken
That is me in a nutshell. I just wish I knew how to reverse this.
 
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Shewaitsforme

Arcanist
Sep 23, 2018
493
That is me in a nutshell. I just wish I knew how to reverse this.

Well talking therapy but that will just bring up everything ive buried under my non emotionalness. I cant go there, i know it will be way too much for me to handle and i think i could cause my mind to defend its self to the extreme and cut off all together then i wont be able to function in society at all. Im on sick from my job at the ambulance service so i cant risk that. I either CTB or return to work when im deemed capable.
 
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worldexploder

worldexploder

Visionary
Sep 19, 2018
2,820
I am cut off both emotionally and physically.
 
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