Help Intrusive thoughts ?

[whenisitmytimetodie]

Hello there,
I have seen multiple threads on here - similar to this one but still wanted to ask about my own situation.
I think I might struggle with intrusive thoughts (maybe even ocd), sometimes I get unwanted really fucked up thoughts that are just wrong. tbh I kinda wish I had ocd, ik u dont wish for sth like that but I think in this case it makes sense - of course i'd rather have an illness explaining why these horrible thoughts come to me, rather than actually being this horrible/thinking abt it just because. these thoughts are definitely unwanted and i push them away and avoid them but sometimes i get really scared they might be for real, if i think abt it they kinda really arent, but how do u know whats true and what isnt, idk this. I hate these thoughts, they ruin my life and whole iew on myself. I dont get them daily tho, which makes me think its not sth like ocd. i definitely think unwanted stuff daily but that is out of other reasons and not the stuff i mean in this thread. what are these thoughts? are they intrusive thoughts? might i have ocd ? (i also cant think of any compulsions i do,i take a lot of notes whenever I get a brainfuck - idk if this is a compulsion tho and sometimes i count to calm down butthis is more of my own choice.)

 

[CoolGuy9]

Hello there,
I have seen multiple threads on here - similar to this one but still wanted to ask about my own situation.
I think I might struggle with intrusive thoughts (maybe even ocd), sometimes I get unwanted really fucked up thoughts that are just wrong. tbh I kinda wish I had ocd, ik u dont wish for sth like that but I think in this case it makes sense - of course i'd rather have an illness explaining why these horrible thoughts come to me, rather than actually being this horrible/thinking abt it just because. these thoughts are definitely unwanted and i push them away and avoid them but sometimes i get really scared they might be for real, if i think abt it they kinda really arent, but how do u know whats true and what isnt, idk this. I hate these thoughts, they ruin my life and whole iew on myself. I dont get them daily tho, which makes me think its not sth like ocd. i definitely think unwanted stuff daily but that is out of other reasons and not the stuff i mean in this thread. what are these thoughts? are they intrusive thoughts? might i have ocd ? (i also cant think of any compulsions i do,i take a lot of notes whenever I get a brainfuck - idk if this is a compulsion tho and sometimes i count to calm down butthis is more of my own choice.)

If you really want to know if it's ocd or some other illness, you should go see a doctor to get diagnosed.

 

[whenisitmytimetodie]

If you really want to know if it's ocd or some other illness, you should go see a doctor to get diagnosed.

idk how since i experience really horrible and disgusting thoughts and i am too afraid of people telling me 'no its just the way you are, you just are this bad disgusting person' and i could never even open up abt this since it is really disgusting.. i can only die.

 

[SuicidalAgain]

idk how since i experience really horrible and disgusting thoughts and i am too afraid of people telling me 'no its just the way you are, you just are this bad disgusting person' and i could never even open up abt this since it is really disgusting.. i can only die.

If you don't want those thoughts and actively try to avoid them, I wouldn't say you're a horrible person for having them - I have no idea what they might be, but it's not like it's your choice and you're fighting them... I don't know what that's like but I can understand your concerns about opening up to people... certain subjects are simply not safe to discuss with others, even if you're doing so because you're seeking help :/

 

[Alwaysbadtime]

I relate. I've thought bad shit for a long time. I don't know. It sucks bad.

 

[sayoko284]

i've been wondering about this too recently. over the past couple of months i've been having some really disgusting thoughts that i'd do anything to get rid of, and i'm terrified that they may represent some evil part of me i've been secretly repressing this whole time. i also have experienced compulsive behaviour in the past but i don't think i quite fit the criteria for ocd since i've been doing the compulsive actions/rituals much longer than i've been having these intrusive thoughts and they don't seem to be related.

i would suggest seeing a doctor/psychologist about your specific case to find out for sure if you have ocd or something else- i know it feels like you're going to be judged and to be honest the thought of telling someone else about my intrusive thoughts makes me feel sick so i get it if you don't believe what i'm about to say, but intrusive thoughts are not uncommon in people with mental health problems and the medical professional you're seeing will have most likely seen other people going through similar things and will be aware that those thoughts are not necessarily reflective of you as a person. i'd do your research about whoever you're seeing if you consider going to see someone and make sure they have experience dealing with mental health first.

 

[meetapple]

Your thoughts are not in your control. You will be taking a positive step forward for yourself by seeing a psychiatrist which should help your self esteem as well.