Introduce yourself

[Naked Weapon]

Hello, I go by Naked Weapon here, and some of you might know that as a reference to Romeo and Juliet. I like sad English pop music from the 80s, which contrasts well with my bimbocore aesthetic. I plan to leave surrounded by all my plushies when I'm 22, the same age as the protagonist from the three novel manuscripts I've written. I'm trans, and have changed my name legally three times (and I'll probably do it again if I have time). I suffer from what my psychiatrist calls a "bouquet" of personality disorders along with an ED and OCD.

 

[happy2bee]

Hello, I'm happy2bee, I'm a 23 year old autistic and depressed human with ADHD and anxiety. Been dealing with these burdens for as long as I can remember. Unmedicated for most of my life! Not that meds actually ever did anything for me.
I've been on SS for awhile I used to lurk before I made an account like a year or two ago. Then I stopped and have been trying to get help or rather my family has been trying to get me help. I've been seeing a therapist though she doesn't do much but I enjoy telling her my gossip. I wanted to stop seeing her but I don't want to deal with why's and are you sure's or explaining it to my family.

Anyway,,, my suicidal ideation has become my whole focused for the past 3 months. It's all I can think about, I live and breath suicide and how it will feel, hurt and generally burn others. How my existence effects others and how my absence will break my mother but it won't matter because I will be gone. I hope the afterlife is nothing but a blank void so I can stop feeling!

 

[falling_snow]

I just found out that I probably hadn't introduced myself.

So, I'm Yuki (not real name :), 20 years old (21 by the end of the year). My parents are chinese, but I was born and raised in Spain. I'm gay, so I like boysss. I'm very interested in any topic and I love anime, music, specially Vocaloid, video-essays, and anything that fills my human brain with those happy hormones.

Also, I love chocolate and anything sugary, and I have depression.

So, a bit late, but Hi everyone!

 

[sserafim]

I'm Sera (people have been calling me this lol), 23 years old (24 by the end of the year). I'm a Virgo, INTP, 5w4, 539, RLUEI. I like being chronically online (haha), playing video games, listening to music, watching anime, reading, learning new things, browsing Wikipedia, traveling, eating good food, drinking coffee and tea, etc. I have Asperger's/autism, ADHD, and social anxiety.

I just found out that I probably hadn't introduced myself.

So, I'm Yuki (not real name :), 20 years old (21 by the end of the year). My parents are chinese, but I was born and raised in Spain. I'm gay, so I like boysss. I'm very interested in any topic and I love anime, music, specially Vocaloid, video-essays, and anything that fills my human brain with those happy hormones.

Also, I love chocolate and anything sugary, and I have depression.

So, a bit late, but Hi everyone!

What animes and music do you like?

 

[falling_snow]

Which animés do you like?

Magic girls! Madoka magica, Sailor moon, magical girl website, and some more that i can't remember. I also enjoy comedy and ghibli. they feel so warm and full of life.

 

[sserafim]

Magic girls! Madoka magica, Sailor moon, magical girl website, and some more that i can't remember. I also enjoy comedy and ghibli. they feel so warm and full of life.

Oh nice. I haven't watched any of those before lol. I like Demon Slayer, Death Note, AOT, TPN, HXH, etc

 

[falling_snow]

I like Demon Slayer, Death Note, AOT, TPN, HXH, etc

I have tried some of them, but my attention span says no if there are more than 20 episodes. I'm probably going to watch Death Note this week. It seems fun.

 

[AlternativeBagel]

Not really sure where to begin. I joined after searching for a place where suicide is openly discussed due to my own current feelings and ideation. Other than that,
I like gaming, cooking, reading, and socializing. I love sci fi in any form. I used to consider myself great at communication but for the past few years not so much. I used to do a lot of debate in college which did include public speaking. In music I listen to anything really but I lean towards EDM the most, especially anything that has a synth. I also have ADHD and I have codependency issues.

 

[deathslament]

I joined to find some effective methods besides overdosing. I used to like somethings but now I'm more anhedonic . Trying to open is really hard for me

 

[DOKTOR_G'HUL]

I love many things, some of them dark and creepy, some of them old and forgotten, some of them absolutely barking mad...I stand in many places, and wear many faces. Darker, wilder, stranger...a mad man with monsters for friends and all of time and space to play with. I walk with the outcasts, the broken toys, the shadow people, the others. I know Uncle Forry, the Crypt Keeper, and many other happily mad icons of Slack...but I walk with the outcasts, the unknown ones. I am Doktor G'Hul.

 

[DiglySilly]

I am an 18 year old boy with suicidal thoughts since I was 7, I have autism, anxiety, dyspraxia and possibly OCD. I haven't had friends my whole life, which makes loneliness affect me a lot. I am very clumsy (or stupid) in all the things I do, the only thing I protect myself with is my comfort zone: my room or inside my mind (I'm fantasizing as I write this).

My favorite colors are green, blue and black, I write with my left hand (which has caused me a lot of problems), I like games, classical music and, lastly, the best thing in this world: PIZZA.

PS: Sorry for writing wrong, I'm terrible at that too :)

 

[raincereal]

hello, i'm raincereal, it's nice to meet everyone. i'm neurodivergent and my entire personality likes doing 180s every now and then. currently i enjoy playing games, listening to music, and sleeping (?). unsure what to write now but i guess i'll go by name pronouns (raincereal then lol) and i think i like dudes? or i might be cupio i don't know
i hope i'll be able to get to know some of you guys and i apologize ahead of time if i come off as rude, thanks

 

[Mizu]

Yo I'm Mizu, boasting a one of a kind MDD diagnosis I obtained in my local insane asylums, I'm just looking for a place to get things off my chest cause while young (19) I fear I'm in the for the worst so i see little to no reason a lot of the time to keep going. I enjoy your average male interest like gaming and shit but lately there is this thing I found out about called napping its taking most if not all of my time lmao.

 

[smalleiers]

Heya!

I used to lurk in this forum last year looking to ctb but indavertedly found love, and proceeded to fuck it up in a year.
I'm a cis man in his late twenties suffering from CF, PTSD, MDD and used to study history before collapsing. I'm from central Europe and also like gaming a lot currently playing Teamfight Tactics. I also do some creative writing so I may post in off topic for some time before choosing to CTB.
My other interests are geopolitics, dive bar philosophy and pottery. Maybe someone wants to chat and hang out a bit.

Cheers,


Smalleiers

 

[R_and_dom]

Hi, I'm R_and_dom, I'm trans, please don't hate me. I hope we can get better together.

 

[Olisop21.]

Hello and welcome.

 

[TerapiaFrustrada]

I'm from Brazil, I'm a man and I'm 22 years old. I have depression, anxiety, I am prodigal and satirical, as I suffer from compulsions related to sex, food and shopping. I want to catch the bus in April.

 

[Gl1tch3d G1rl]

I'm not exactly new here, been a member since 2021, but don't remember if I ever introduced myself or not, so here it goes:

Hi! I'm Silent. I can't share too much personal info due to the fear that someone will recognise my account, but I'll say that I'm in my 20s, I'm a cis female and I fucked up my life really badly. I have autism and most likely several undiagnosed mental illnesses bc therapists and psychiatrists are like...uggh Also I'm apparantly a very complicated case so...fml!

I'm a fuck up, and I was never meant for this life.

 

[l_iawiet]

I'm into tjs one anime, its fanbase has a bad rep though but I don't care whatsoever. It makes me happy, it's called hetalia by the way, and I also like tf2, and I'm Christian, but have fell out of my faith. I hope one day I'll return to it, I also make art and like obscure things and I love breakcore, gabber, happy hardcore, speedcore, splittercore, and a bit of idm. My favourite music genres by the way. I get jealous easy and have anger issues that impact me a lot. Badly interested in this character from hetalia at the moment. Suffer with eating disorder and another thing.

 

[SilentAssimilation]

Hmm. I don't quite know where to begin. On the surface my life is not complicated. But underneath it all, I suffer from a what feels like a slew of chronic illnesses. I've just been diagnosed with a brain condition, (dysmetria for those interested). I also have fibromyalgia, and hyperacusis. Combine these, and my life is horrible. The only saving grace is my meds for my fibro. They work wonders. So I'm usually not suicidal. This combined with a somatic therapy, I went through means I"m okay most of the time.

All that being said, I struggle with immense guilt over past actions. I don't want to go into details. This is the main reason I want to ctb apart from my chronic illnesses. Must days I'm not really thinking about my past. But every now and then the memories will come. And when they come, the urge to ctb is almost unstoppable. I've only gotten through those times with my life intact because of my sheer will power.

Looking to meet others who struggle with huge feelings of guilt, and chronic illnesses. And it's really nice to have a place to openly discuss ctb'ing.

 

[juna]

Hi all, I am a girl in her late 20s. I have had a miserable childhood and it's memories don't leave me alone. My mother was neglectful and emotionally abusive. I see no point in life. I have no one who can understand me. I feel lonely and in top of that, I have always been suicidal since childhood. I am in constant emotional pain most of the time, I think I have some mental health problem like depression or bipolar. People consider me weird but I am ok enough for myself. I am so exhausted by my sadness, I just want to die and get it over with. Sometimes, I wish I had killed myself years ago, but I lived for I had hope. Hope for a world full of happiness and love. Forget about love, I can't even feel happy. I am always sad or angry. I am so tired. I hope to make this year my last year on earth. I don't see any hope anymore. I can't drag myself across life anymore. I know a lot of other people who have lives worse than me, but they are always so cheerful and hopeful, I feel so sad about why I feel the way I do. I even feel jealous of their strength. I tried everything I could. Nothing can fix me. For once a mirror breaks, it will never be the same again.

 

[Gl1tch3d G1rl]

Hello, I go by Naked Weapon here, and some of you might know that as a reference to Romeo and Juliet. I like sad English pop music from the 80s, which contrasts well with my bimbocore aesthetic. I plan to leave surrounded by all my plushies when I'm 22, the same age as the protagonist from the three novel manuscripts I've written. I'm trans, and have changed my name legally three times (and I'll probably do it again if I have time). I suffer from what my psychiatrist calls a "bouquet" of personality disorders along with an ED and OCD.

Omg, the plushie part is genious! I'm definitely doing that too coz I love plushies! Tysm for the idea! Also welcome, I hope you find what you're looking for her.

 

[aaaaaaaaaaaaaaa]

Hi everyone, I'm 36 and I live in the UK. I've been through some events that have led me to feel I'm ready to CTB and I'm trying to go about it in the most logical and ordered way I can.

I no longer feel any joy or happiness, a lifetime of shallow positivity about living has completely drained me. I'm ready to go.

 

[chaosdrifter]

hey guys,
i'm zizou, 21 and from europe! i'm super glad to have found this forum!
i've already spent some time reading here and now finally requested an account.
it is incredibly nice to read from people who are in similar situations and i feel very seen by all the folks that have attempted but failed (be it several times or once). i feel like in my time in the health system/ professional settings there was never space to talk about all the frustrations, the self hatred and the despair that comes with failing.
looking forward to getting to know you :-)
~feel free to talk to me <3

 

[Galahad]

My first post so hello everybody.

I'm from the UK, don't want to be around much longer. Not great at talking or sharing my thoughts and problems but here I am.

Aiming for a peaceful suicide, just want to slip away. Nothing to live for.

 

[amra81nz]

Hi all. Im Aaron. Im from New Zealand.
Hard to know where to begin or if anyone cares about what stuff.
Im 42 years old and have suffered from mental illness since i was about 10 years old. My current diagnosis is just social anxiety but i think there is more to it than just that.
I struggle with day to day activities and any kind of social interaction, i cant deal with being anywhere outside of the house though recently ive managed to get out into the yard. I cant control emotions, i can feel them inside me physically and its like a burning feeling when they get triggered. My mum passed away back in may and she was the only person i could really talk to about anything. ive reached the point where i just want to check out, im in weekly therapy but this will be the 3rd time over the course of my life and i believe its just going to end up in the same place again.
anyhow nice to meet everyone and hopefully i can manage to talk to some of you.

 

[Tenshi_vhc]

Hello :3
My names Angel I'm a chronically online Latina goth girl. I love anime and video games. My favorite anime being Madoka magica and my favorite game being Minecraft, ik so nerdyyyy. I am studying to be a doctor and I'm here to help my recovery. I hope to make some friends and also hope to help people who were just like me :)

 

[tony the tiger]

I'm ~35 years old, non binary / feminine leaning amab, ASD/Asperger's, undiagnosed but probably ADHD. I've struggled with a chronic health condition for about a decade and gone through a string of hard experiences in life generally.

I'm not really suicidal I think, I could never, I love my friends and family too much... but I felt I haven't really had a safe place to talk about depression related stuff with people who would fully relate or understand.

I'm finding a lot of help resources put me off too, they often feel hard to relate to and weirdly fake, like a veneer of kindness/caring/love on top of a calculated generic strategy. Idk, maybe this isn't making much sense, but in my darkest moments when I did try looking up "suicide" on Google, the "Help is available call Samaritans 12 34 56" and the screens of generic "don't do it your life has SO much left to offer" pages in the results just felt weirdly empty to me.

Like when you ask chatgpt something remotely sensitive and it just clams up and says "I'm sorry, as an AI language model, I advise you to contact a mental health professional", it gives me that same feeling.

That actually drove me to seek out this forum, I wanted something that didn't feel fake. I'm sorry for all of us here who are suffering, and thankful that there is this space, I might hang out and post a bit.

 

[tronix]

I'm 35, suddenly dumped by a partner who doesn't want to talk, doesn't reply to my messages and seems to be happy.
My previous relationships were abusive. Before this one, I was alone for 7 years. I hated every minute of that loneliness, wanted to be loved.
Now, after three years together, after I quit my job to focus more on a relationship and was promised support, I got dumped like a piece of trash. It feels awful. It's been a month and I can't deal with that. I felt suicidal before, when I was younger, I had a few attempts. I'm feeling empty and worthless, hopeless and scared that my existance will look like it did back then, before I met someone who broke my heart and all of my plans and hopes died.

 

[awen]

I didn't have the healthiest childhood, I grew up in the Turkish military because of my father but I was abandoned by everyone for months after both my parents were blamed for a coup (political stuff) Adults and my government tortured my imprisoned father physically, my mother mentally and finally broke my mind. I have two brothers and now we live in America without my parents. I first tried killing myself when I was 12, after failing because I was too scared I started cutting myself which lasted for years. I developed some very different habits and now I can't date or get close to guys who think they can "fix me" anymore. I get attached and enjoy being used by bad guys for attention and get too cold towards nice guys. I can't balance, I hate myself. I stopped getting into deep relationships at this point. I'm just a spectator even in my own life. I'm weak, ugly, small, and awkward. I'm really trying to survive but life sometimes hits too hard or I'm just that weak.

I also like going on walks, some nostalgic anime, some disturbing movies, listening to dramatic or old music while reading, and writing letters.