Intense Emotion Helped

[tilsleepcomes]

When I was younger, I opened up my wrists. I survived, but I actually want to get back to that emotional/mental place.

See, when I did it, there was this intense grief and sadness, and crying and upset, that helped me past the survival instinct in that moment

Approaching suicide now, from a calmer, more philosophical direction, I have a hard time getting to the point where doing it comes so easy.

I NEED that off switch for my instinct again, but there is nothing so recent or urgent in my life now.

I used alcohol when I did it that time, but not so much that I was out of control. I think maybe it did intensify the sadness, though, and that might have helped.

It sounds dumb but I want some emotional trauma to help me along.

 

[FuneralCry]

Your feelings are understandable. Of course suicide can be very difficult because even know we want to die, we are programmed to survive. I think that many people get the courage to go through with it when they get desperate and the pain of living gets to be unbearable. I wish that dying is as easy as just wishing to never wake again.