Insulin/academic probation

[Realitysfurf]

Hi, I have a few questions.
My first one is about if I should tell my counsellor about how I am thinking of committing soon or something of that topic. I really don't want to die soon however I feel that I have no other choice because I have unfortunately failed classes last semester which put me on academic probation, this semester I did much much better, except I think I will fail 1 class out of 4. I asked my teacher if I could redo the test, but there is no rewrites. I was wondering if anyone has been in this situation and told there counsellor and were then able to do a test and pass. I just do not want to be on academic suspension and I would rather commit then be a failure to my parents and see how mad they will get.
My second question is if there is no other way out of this to rewrite that test and not be suspended from college, does anyone know if taking too much insulin will work. I am a type 1 diabetic and that is the method I have thought about many times, it seems easy, but I am not sure if that is really the case so I want some opinions on how bad taking too much insulin is as a method and if it can cause me to become much more ill if I somehow survive.
Another thing, my counsellor knows that one of the methods I mentioned when I was on the verge of committing in December and had to make a safety plan with her is the insulin. I do not know if telling her will either get me wellness checkups at my home which will be awful since I live with my parents, or if it would help me somehow in redoing a test.

 

[lonely2026]

I just want to say I don't know your relationship with your parents or any other circumstances but can only answer based on what you've written, if they are good parents, they would prefer to have you alive than killing yourself just because of exams.

You have a whole life ahead of you and if you only want to ctb due to your class results then please reconsider. Lots of people have not done well at academia but gone on to lead successful lives.

You can ask for mitigating circumstances to be considered due to poor mental health. You could even redo the year again. Please bear in mind your parents won't be mad forever.

If I was to go back in time I wouldn't even have gone to university as I am still paying off the loan over 20 years later.

If you're close to your family talk to them about how you feel at least.

I hope I make a difference as you yourself said you don't want to die soon. You want to live.

Will your results matter in 5 years time? In 10 years time? But if your family love you, they will still be grieving for the rest of their lives and they may feel guilty for pressurising you to pass your exams. Give them the chance to reassure you that your well being matters.

I don't know why but your post stood out to me that you only want to ctb out of fear of disappointing people. Please live for yourself.

 

[CatLvr]

My husband was Type II. His favorite way to punish me when I made him mad was to stop taking his insulin (so I would have to take care of him). The last 6-9 months of his life were MISERABLE. He manages to set off a Shingles attack (because of the damage he had done to his immune system) that never did resolve. I never was able (obviously) to convince him that the damage he was doing was cumulative and that just because the doctors got him stabilized and his blood sugars back under control, that didn't mean he was "fine".

He died in an emergency room (cardiac arrest) after spending an absolutely miserable long weekend in bed. He had felt really rough because his Shingles had been particularly bad, but he was not restless so I thought maybe he was FINALLY catching a break and getting the rest he needed. Oh, nope. He had stopped taking his insulin again. When the EMTs took his blood sugar it was somewhere between 7-800.

I am telling you the amount of suffering that man did all in the name of getting even was astonishing to me. He spent 3 months in ICU and a month in a step-down rehab unit the first time he missed more than a couple of doses of insulin. Don't do it to yourself -- unless you just get off on feeling like shit constantly. Because it's not gonna be fast. Or painless.

Also, and you didn't say one way or the other so if this doesn't apply to you, just ignore it -- but according the his attending physician that day apparently men, in particular, who have been insulin-dependent for a significant length of time, start thinking that taking their insulin is negotiable. And they think "oh well if it kills me at least it will be quick and painless." Thing is it is not. Not quick. Not painless. And is just as likely to leave you incapacitated in a way that requires long-term, comprehensive care (because of the physical and mental injuries) as it is to kill you.