I stopped taking pretty much all of my meds I've been taking for several years now, and nothing. I don't feel better or worse, no withdrawl either. I guess they never really worked.
I have a few good days that make me consider trying to live past 25, but inevitably the rug gets yanked from under me and I fall face first. Again.
I dont want to use a rope but the complexity and lack of security with the dark web is too much for me to try to bother with SN or N. I've considered gas but setting it up seems too risky if I mess it up, which is likely.
I have to continue to drag myself to a job I hate and people I hate and customers I hate because otherwise I'll be homeless. Sometimes I consider driving into a lake. Sometimes I consider trying to wreck myself on a highway late at night.
I've been trying to lose weight so whatever method I choose works better but that's not showing any results.
The only reason I'm still around is because of my roommate. I both thank and curse her for it.
Sometimes I consider committing myself to a psych ward. Then I remember I have work tomorrow and how bad it was the last time I was sanctioned.
I get 1 day off a week and work at least 45 hours, but dont get paid past that 45 hours. Yay for salary in retail.
I just want to be done with it all. I find some solace here but I still feel like an outsider looking in. Like this is just a big ol' corkboard I can post my thoughts to, but ultimately brings and does nothing.
I consume too much media, but I keep wishing I could be the outnumbered soldier, bravely fighting against impossible odds, then the cavalry comes in and says, "You did well to hold out for this long. We'll take it from here"
Hurry up and let me find the will and means to die or else drastically improve my situation so I can believe in living year after year.
I have a few good days that make me consider trying to live past 25, but inevitably the rug gets yanked from under me and I fall face first. Again.
I dont want to use a rope but the complexity and lack of security with the dark web is too much for me to try to bother with SN or N. I've considered gas but setting it up seems too risky if I mess it up, which is likely.
I have to continue to drag myself to a job I hate and people I hate and customers I hate because otherwise I'll be homeless. Sometimes I consider driving into a lake. Sometimes I consider trying to wreck myself on a highway late at night.
I've been trying to lose weight so whatever method I choose works better but that's not showing any results.
The only reason I'm still around is because of my roommate. I both thank and curse her for it.
Sometimes I consider committing myself to a psych ward. Then I remember I have work tomorrow and how bad it was the last time I was sanctioned.
I get 1 day off a week and work at least 45 hours, but dont get paid past that 45 hours. Yay for salary in retail.
I just want to be done with it all. I find some solace here but I still feel like an outsider looking in. Like this is just a big ol' corkboard I can post my thoughts to, but ultimately brings and does nothing.
I consume too much media, but I keep wishing I could be the outnumbered soldier, bravely fighting against impossible odds, then the cavalry comes in and says, "You did well to hold out for this long. We'll take it from here"
Hurry up and let me find the will and means to die or else drastically improve my situation so I can believe in living year after year.
