In the edge. Always.

[narval]

Since years i'm feeling in the edge periodically. habitually my moral are stable. low but stable, even with CTB thoughts lowered to a "not today, death, not today". But sooner or later, some thing (usually bad, like a discussion, a sudden payment, gaining too much kg, etc) makes me overreact and i fall in a mood where i'm wishing a extra shitty thing. A thing who gives me the rage or desesperation to ending all. Something like "Common, just a little more, universe. Fuck me a little more and i'll end all".

i've realized that probably i'll never leave behind this facet of me (as some other worrying facets of me that they're not related)

 

[FuneralCry]

Our thoughts can be tiring to deal with. I think for me I will only be able to end it when I reach a point of complete desperation as taking our lives is hard. I wish you well.

 

[Midgardsorm]

I am just like this too. I've been improving lately, but just now, something happened to make my ctb thought comes back with full intensity.

That thing that it was in other thread, "As if the universe wanted you to ctb". I guess it is true indeed.

I wish you well, friend.